Toys & Trailers of SDCC 2017!

Thanks for choosing my blog to absorb your armchair SDCC 2017 coverage from! SDCC remains the statistically safest place to avoid comic book news. As someone who has been to San Diego Comic Con ONCE, you can count on me! After all, my SDCC prediction from last week came true! Lots of stuff happened, so I will do my best to ignore that thing you actually wanted to read about! Click on down because we’ve got the bait!

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All The SDCC 2016 News That’s Fit To Print!

San Diego Comic Con 2016 dished out sensory overload before stumbling to a preordained conclusion. True to form, barely any of the news was directly related to comic books. I figured I’d give you hyperlinks to various trailers & add commentary. I got halfway through writing this when I noticed that that’s what all the reputable nerd news sites were doing anyway. And this is why is nigh-impossible to make a living at this anymore. So thank you for coming here to get the news that’s available everywhere. I also threw in some stuff about action figures. I’m posting early this week so it might not be completely irrelevant by the time you see it. Anyway, here’s the giant-sized part the second of my SDCC 2016 armchair coverage!

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Exclusive memento mori!

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Need Something To Read At SDCC?

By the time you read this, 2016 SDCC will be happening. (It might even be over, if you choose not to read it while on queue for Hall H as the headline suggests.) Thank you for accidentally clicking on a link to my blog while you’re at the con! I’m not there myself, so this will mostly be reacting to preview night stuff & furiously updating as news is released on publication day. The more thorough armchair coverage will be up next week (will Marvel continue to troll X-Men fans?), but do stick around for exclusive photos of my cat tormenting a mouse.

It’s that time of year again to vote for the next Star Wars Black fan choice figure! How is Mara Jade the lowest polling of the lot? She’s even doing worse than Dengar, & he’s legitimutantly terrible! You have until this Friday at noon Pacific to make this right.

There’s going to be a King Shark BAF! It even has alternate heads so you can make it from The F-Lash TV show or New 52’s Suicide Squad comic.  Jawsome! Too bad the Mattel figures it comes packed with still aren’t up to DC Collectibles’ snuff. The amount of Frank Miller toys is disturbing, but The Reaper looks tempting with its Eiko Ishioka vibe. (How does proto-Phantasm take his mitts off?) Good on them for finally giving Wonder Woman some attention to tie into her movie, even if it means they’re wasting plastic on her mercifully short-lived costume with Azrael vambraces & a suggestively-framing V-loincloth.

Speaking of DCC, its pinup-inspired Bombshells are expanding into the world of toys. I love the deranged look on Bombshells Wonder Woman’s face! Its manic joy is the anti-grimdark. Now this is a Wonder Woman that should be played by Abbi Jacobson!

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Who You Gonna Call About Ecto-Cooler?

After years of separation, I finally got my paws on Hi-C Ecto-Cooler again! Sadly, I was not among the bloggers that received a promo for it with bonus slime. The store only had juice boxes instead of the large aluminum cans I prefer. (I did see Ghostbusters-branded Twinkies as well, but I didn’t get them because they were the kind that lacked green filing. Speaking of which, Key Lime TastyKakes don’t have enough.) I miss having Slimer on the label. Since he’s been in the ads for the Ghostbusters reboot that seem to spoil a huge plot development for the secretary, I don’t see why Slimer wouldn’t be back here too for nostalgic corporate synergy. Supposedly he’s absent because Coca-Cola isn’t allowed to use him as a celebrity endorsement anymore?

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The juice boxes are genuinely smaller than they were when I was a youngling. After one hearty sip, they’re practically drained. This is a fiendish ploy to make me drink all the cartons in a single sitting then buy more. The included straws are too opaque, so you can’t tell you’re drinking something green through them. As someone who wants to consume all the green things, this is half the fun of Ecto-Cooler. I did confirm that it is still green by pouring it into a glass, but that felt like too much effort on my part when Hi-C could’ve just issued clear straws with it.

The Ecto-Cooler itself tasted … fine? I recall it tasting the same albeit more addictive. I guess from  drinking Juicy Juice’s & Langers’ orange-cocktail juices in the intervening years my palate is no longer wowed by Ecto-Cooler. You brought my ambivalence upon yourself by holding out, Coca-Cola! If I can find it in a format that’s not tiny juice boxes, I may give it another go. Hopefully Coca-Cola will keep Ecto-Cooler on shelves for years to come regardless of how the latest reboot performs at the box office. (I now realize that naming the classic cartoon The Real Ghostbusters is as misleading as HBO billing that made-up show as True Detective.) I am interested to see if a new generation that never tasted Ecto-Cooler before embraces it.

Now let’s see if just mentioning the newest Ghostbusters turns my comments section in a dumpster fire!

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It’s A Comic Con-spiracy?

Last year I missed out on New York Comic Con because I was swept up in publishing & promoting The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. This year, my friends told me I should get tickets to attend with them. The system had been rejiggered so I had to pre-register before it would even take my money. So yesterday, I clicked my personalized NYCC ticket link exactly at noon, & this was the screen it directed me to:

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I’m going to be on the virtual queue forever, aren’t I?

Needless to say, this was not a reassuring page to land on. This virtual queue didn’t provide an approximate wait time, nor did it even generate a wait number for me as an analog deli would’ve. All it did was periodically update on how the multi-day passes were already selling out. This must’ve been real exciting for folks with paranoia & anxiety disorders.

After staring at this screen for nigh two hours, I was almost ready to give up. Suddenly & without warning (as sudden events tend to be), the page transformed into one that gave me exactly thirteen minutes to purchase tickets. Since I only wanted one Thursday ticket (try to hunt for me on the con floor!), this was actually pretty easy. That still didn’t justify how user unfriendly the lead up proved to be. Boo for First World problems! The new system was supposed to thwart scalpers, yet multi-day passes still popped up on StubHub at exorbitant prices. Congratulations on not achieving your goal, NYCC!

So I’m going to a major comic con … just not the one that gets the good exclusives.

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TANTO FIGHT!!!

Happy Day Without Sports, otherwise known as the day after Bastille Day! It’s my favorite holiday so I celebrate it 365 days a year! In honor of this momentous occasion, here’s that painting of a knife fight that I told you about. This is definitely not a sport. Somebody could die!

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Now you can see for yourself that I did a terrible job making it look like X-Men Adventures #6. First of all, there are way too many characters in it. My compositions are getting progressively more crowded. You’ll notice the titular Brother Banenose, the tooth-be-necklaced Fairuza, & the mighty Stephfi. You also get your first looks at Norbert the false pig specialist & the All-Seeing Insect of Doom! Lastly, we have the clothing-deficient [CHARACTER NAME REDACTED BECAUSE IT’S A SPOILER]!

Originally, I had intended to paint an entirely different scene for this chapter. Then I remembered I kind of made a big deal about the tanto fight so I should probably paint that. It also did not require me to paint a ceiling like the alternate scene so it won. My difficult second novel might be set entirely outdoors to completely circumvent the possible necessity of depicting ceilings.

Most books would put such a thrilling scene at the climax, but not mine! This happens in chapter ten, which is roughly the halfway point. So things can only escalate from there! Unless everything is downhill after that. I’ll let you be the judge. But first have a look at the even behind-the-scenesier uninked sketch for the painting that didn’t scan that well:

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If you would like to spread awareness of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose on The Twitter, please use the hashtag  #BrotherBanenose. You can alternatively use #TheDolorousAdventureOfBrotherBanenose if you a lot of characters leftover that you’d like to use up. If you go for the acronym #TDAOBB, nobody will know what you’re typing about.

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SDCC Ecstasy!

Are you going to San Diego Comic Con this year? Because I’m not. But I made you a list of 2015’s Top 25 San Diego Comic-Con Exclusives anyway. (Everybody attending this year is surely checking the blog on Preview Night for such a valuable resource, right?) Feel free to pick some up for me. I’ve already paid an ungodly sum for Hela, so prioritize the Very Secret mug with SPOON!

This was a tricky list to write because companies kept randomly announcing exclusives as my deadline drew closer. I finished it a day early, & then my editor suggested I add even more entries. Even more exclusives will likely be announced during the con until critical mass is achieved.

You still have until July 10 to vote Gamorrean Guard into the Black Series. It boggles by mind that Lando, Sabine, Grievous, & original Obi-Wan have to compete against it when they should’ve already been in production. Apparently you can vote multiple times from the same IP address, so vote Gamorrean Guard early & often!

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Has anybody on YouTube replaced Gamora with a Gamorrean Guard in Guardians of the Galaxy or all the Gamorrean Guards in Return of the Jedi with Gamora yet?

Speaking of Hasbro Fan Choice polls, SDCC attendees can vote for the next Marvel Legends action figure. This poll is invalid for lack of Sauron! They should’ve had him & Stegron on the pegs already for Jurassic World synergy.

This poll doesn’t make much sense. People can vote for the finalists after the SDCC, so why even bother with the SDCC qualifying round? It looks like the choices are primarily geared toward a Thor wave (Angela, Borr, the Disir, Executioner, Sif, Malekith, Ulik)  or a GOTG wave (Angela, Nova/Sam Alexander, Cosmo, Darkhawk, Nebula, Quasar), so why not just make them all in a Thor wave & a GOTG wave? Why is Skurge the Executioner an option but not his beloved Amora the Enchantress? Since Lyra was already supposed to be the variant swap for Red She-Hulk, shouldn’t they produce her anyway (along with the MIA Dani Moonstar, Blade, Rescue, Rogue, white Phoenix, AoA Phoenix, Phoenix Cyclops, Songbird, & Trevor Slattery)? Why didn’t they already produce Marvel Legends of Sif, Nebula, Malekith, Borr, and Cosmo to coincide with their films? Why can’t we vote for the superior Phyla-Vell version of Quasar? How can I track down anybody who throws their vote away on another gorram Spider-Man & inflict grievous bodily harm upon them?

So remember when last I said there was no exciting news of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose front? Well I should’ve kept my typing paws quiet because exciting news struck & exciting news is no fun. Lydia Thomas had to resign as my Book Manager due to health issues. It is unconfirmed whether these health issues were a direct result of reading The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose.  I was really enjoying working with Lydia, so I wish her a full & speedy recovery.

Since I’d already announced the coming of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose to the Interwuzzle, however, I couldn’t let this setback scuttle the book. (That was kind of a Rubicon crossing moment, although I suppose Caesar could’ve ordered a U-turn if he really wanted to. I’m also disappointed AMC didn’t renew Rubicon.) So I went into full panic mode & begged random passers-by to become my new Book Manager.

Fortunately, Olivia Howe answered my cry at breakneck speed! She told me, ”Hearing the unique title, I couldn’t say no.” So welcome to the The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose team, Olivia! I hope you survive the experience!

I shall leave you with this deep thought: If this is Magic Mike 30, what happened to the 28 previous sequels?