The LEGO Movie 2 Is Awesome, Obviously

As you’d expect, The LEGO Movie 2: The Second Part is awesome. There, that’s the zero spoilers review. Go see it. (Then keep reading this. It also contains non-LEGO musings.)

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The End Of Gotham Begins

This may be my most punctual review ever as I had nearly a month’s head-start to get it done! In December I attended “Meanwhile, Back in Gotham: Preview Screening and Discussion” at The Paley Center. The last time I went to an advance screening of a season premiere it was for Doctor Who season six (in reboot numbering), & I got Steven Moffat to sign my sonic screwdriver. (PHRASING!) This time I was unable to obtain any autographs & it cost more, but I did avoid stress induced vomiting connecting to writing a monograph whilst waiting on line for hours. So I’m counting it as a success!

The two times I’ve attended NYCC, the Gotham panels were always on another day. Last year’s didn’t even announce there’d be one until the week before when all the tickets were sold out. With the series ending, this Paley Center event seemed like my last opportunity to see them. They finished filming literally the day before. I feared the entire cast would be executed after the finale wrapped (That’s what they do for TV shows. The trend of reviving long dead shows is due to conceal a spate of zombieosis.), yet they did not fall into a pit of fire or revolving blades beneath the stage. This cast has excellent camaraderie, although I’ll never be able to tell whether it’s genuine or the thespians are contractually obligated to keep up appearances. It’s pretty surreal to hear them discuss how they’re all suddenly unemployed.

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Third Anniversary Of Underachievement!

Last week this blog had another anniversary! We’re now officially into year three! True to form, I’ve nothing to show for it. I still don’t have a new publisher to get The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose back into print. (Contact me if you’d like to buy one of the limited supply of signed author’s copies of the first edition I have left.) I don’t have a publisher for my second novel, which I’ve yet to complete, either. My priorities & ability to plan ahead remain out of order. Here’s an exclusive image of the scapegoat for my lack of success:

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There’s no mouse this catsquatch won’t trod upon with her GOAT feet in her quest to distract me.

I dropped my phone in Walmart surrounded by strangers & the back popped off. I literally exclaimed, “Oh no! That’s bad!” That’s kind of momentous, right? (Hopefully I’m not as doomed as Toys R Us or Barnes & Noble. The impending late stage capitalism collapse of two of my favorite industries totally isn’t filling me with any existential dread.) I haven’t seen Jessica Jones season two yet, but I have quasi-spoilery recaps for assorted network comic book shows below.

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Syfy Made Me Happy!

It’s usually easier to review something I dislike. I can point out its perceived shortcomings, explain why it didn’t appeal to me, & make suggestions of how to fix it, all while incorporating snarky quips. Meanwhile I struggle to write thorough reviews of media that just click with me. (Perhaps one day I can be as insightful as The Institute of Gremlins 2 Studies.) This installment comes later than expected because I wanted to write a meaningful recommendation of Happy! beyond “I liked this! It’s good; trust me.”

Syfy has won me over with its adaptation of Happy! Much like FILLER! & mother! (I learned only too late that it has no capitals), its loopiness bleeds into my sentence structure thanks to its mandatory exclamation mark. Sometimes it feels like it was made just for me! The Grant Morrison & Darick Robertson comic is only four issues, so it’s perfect length for a feature film. Unlike Inhumans, it translated surprisingly well into an eight episode TV season. The expanded stuff is legitimutantly engaging instead of empty padding.

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Through The Black Mirror Into 2018

If you can read this, congratulations on making it through The Year Of The Bastard! History books will be indebted to Warren Ellis for this phrase. Anyhoo, we begin the new cycle with cold takes on TV, books, & a film retrospective that’s essentially a clip show. I’m not even starting out the new year fresh! At least my hyperlinks are almost the Pantone Color of the Year?

I’m quite perturbed they waited until after my Netflix subscription lapsed to finally release Black Mirror series four at 2017’s tail end. Thanks to my pals, Jack & Korey, however, I was able to spend New Year’s Day watching it. This show has such a stupendous batting average!  Now I’m going to predominantly  SPOIL “USS Callister.

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The Introvert’s Nightmare Is Aronofsky’s Mother!

Darren Aronofsky’s latest motion picture is sure to launch a thousand film school theses, so allow this to become one of your citations! Mother! is a tricky film to talk about because, much like FILLER!, every sentence will look wrong unless you manage to place the title at the end. Then it just looks like you’re shouting, which is preferable to not knowing where punctuation goes. After the The Wages Of Cinema podcast collaboreview (They let me discuss a movie that’s not based on a comic book or sci-fi!), it’ll be all SPOILERS. The story is fairly simple, but it’s stuffed to the gills with so many metaphors & ambiguous themes. The most nonspoilery synopsis I can give is “Renowned poet Javier Bardem invites creepy strangers into his giant house much to the chagrin of his devoted yet neglected wife, Jennifer Lawrence.” The characters are credited with descriptions, so I can just refer to the cast by their real names with impunity. It’s a movie that transcends its pretension by going all out.

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Spider-Man: Homecoming Is Fun Yet Not Definitive

And we’re back! I don’t always appear in photographs, but when I do I make the the front page of the July 3rd Chronicle Herald metro edition.

Oh, they made another Spider-Man reboot movie? Andrew from The Wages of Cinema told me I was required to see it with them for color commentary podcasting. He has a very menacing stare!

Websling on down for a SPOILER spectacular! THWIP!

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