CC Returned To SD!

After a two year absence, San Diego Comic Con returned in collective figurative person to San Diego! As a germaphobe on a limited budget, I did not partake of the festivities directly. I enjoyed the virtual panels that I used to be able to stream at home, but they’ve been discontinued. While I couldn’t observe the Gremlins: Secrets Of The Mogwai panel, I’m relived Tze Chun meeting Greta went great. Despite what crazy people on The Twitter insisted, neither Henry Cavill nor Elizabeth Olsen showed up! The amount of Everything Everywhere All At Once cosplay I saw secondhand pleased me.

I was planning on doing one of my non-review blogs after Thor Part IV & Ms. Marvel’s inaugural season, but a heatwave of the non-Mick Rory variety struck. I can work when it’s too hot or too cold. I need a temperature-regulating gimp suit like Scorpius. Then I got hung up obsessing over SDCC tidbits from another timezone. So I realized nobody would bother reading a non-SDCC article from me. I doubt anyone even wants to read an SDCC retrospective from me, but sometimes you have to write a low stakes blog to remind visitors there’ll be better blogs soon. If you share my incredibly narrow interests, this armchair SDCC coverage is the overview for you! It goes action figures, Marvel, & DC. As usual, no actual comic book news will be involved!

Baroness Lashina KGBeast

“Are you here for Dom-Con too?” “No, we’re looking for the American Library Association conference.”

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I Love & Thunder Marvel Legends!

With 7/9 of Stranger Things season four out & Ms. Marvel just begun, let’s use this interlude for a gallery of my Thor: Love & Thunder toys. By which I mean I only bought Mighty Thor & King Valkyrie. If I’d timed it better, I could’ve published this on Natalie Portman’s birthday or at least to coincide with the new commercial. This blog should be somewhat less wordy than usual despite me theorizing about the film.

PadmeAmidala Mjolnir

“Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of …THOR!”

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Thanksgiving For Masters Of The Universe Revelation

The season premieres of Riverdale & The Flash were actually good! I’m pretty sure they will once again be incomprehensible messes by the time they get to their season finales, but I’m hoping they’ll at least stick the landings on their five part events. If there are no tribute videos of Rivervale’s Cheryl Blossom set to the music of the original The Wicker Man by week’s end, then what even is the point of YouTube?

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Now it’s toon time again! Lots of fans despised the first half of Masters Of The Universe Revelation. I enjoyed it, but I don’t consider myself a die-hard MOTU fan. (Hence it doesn’t get its own tag.) Netflix should’ve released the whole series at once so at least viewers would’ve had the full story to judge. Cleaving it was to no one’s benefit. After fans complained the trailer for part one mislead them into thinking there’d be plenty of He-Man, Netflix overcompensated by spoiling everything in the trailer for part two. (They didn’t release promo stills though.) So if you’ve seen that, do you even need the SPOILER warning for my review? Yes, since this is an Evil-Lyn stan account!

EvilLyn_Sorceress

She killed Batros to get this hat, but in retrospect she could’ve just wished for it.

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She-Hulk Teases Armageddon For The Flash & Rivervale!

The Flash & Riverdale have returned for five part crossover events as the prologues to the rest of their seasons resuming in March! Which will be least comprehensible this season? Meanwhile Disney+ just teased a bunch of Marvel series by making the trailers unavailable to viewers until they signed up for the service. (“You have to pay to see our commercials!” is next level advertising evil.)  Despite making an effort to promptly review Supergirl’s final season & Doom Patrol season three, all people wanted to read about this weekend (by a gargantuan margin) was my year-old She-Hulk blog. So I’ll over analyze thirty seconds of footage seen for hers & Ms. Marvel’s forthcoming series. This is another instance of me having to use almost all my tags in a single blog! There’s also going to abundant SPOILERS!

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X-Factor’s Polaris Possesses Strong Magnetism

Who wants to see my custom of Polaris in her red & gold X-Factor costume? “But you just made a custom Polaris!” Don’t hassle me, readers! None of you stopped me when you had the chance! I know you’re just figments of my imagination anyway! I will tell you a tale of how this custom of The Mistress Of Magnetism’s least beloved costume came too be. You won’t believe how far my recipe changed. Plan A did not survive its encounter with my budget. Since I’ve inserted photos of it to break up the text walls, I’ll be spoiling the ending. For non-Polaris commentary, refer to my previous X-blog.

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No Way Home For The Suicide Squad

People are freaking out about the trailer for the second third Spider-Man like it’s the second coming of The Snyder Cut. I’m not enthused by No Way Home, but I’ll write about it since that’s what the rabid public wants. By the time I publish this they’ll have moved on to something else. (I’ll be chagrined if it still gets more views than the Superman & Lois season one wrap-up.) Unlike reputable news outlets, punctuality is our #1 dream. That’s okay because I really wanted to talk more about The Suicide Squad. The new memes I’ve made since will surely be stale now too. SPOILERS for that underperforming movie leaving HBO Max soon & a trailer that you’ve probably had shoved in your face even if tried dodging it below! At least this one’s short.

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Is The Flash Running On Fumes?

No blondes allowed in STAR Labs! Seven is the shortest ever season of The F-Lash, especially when you consider the first three episodes were supposed to be in season six. It’s a widely held theory that The Flash could reach the heights of its early years again if it didn’t have so many episodes per season. It turns out this is only true if the scripts selected to be produced are of its best quality to begin with. I should’ve seen this coming when none of them were titled “The Groddfather.” (I overpaid for the new Gorilla Grodd toy because his force of mind compelled me.) SPOILERS from when the conjoined seasons diverged!

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The Toy Fair’s Not Back In Town

Action figures are good, but they can be better! All you have to do is become a customizer! Toys are like drugs except you need to find a place to keep them after the high wears off.

NY Toy Fair has been cancelled for 2021. In lieu of the big press show, many companies are doing smaller virtual conventions through the year. The most hyped was last week’s Hasbro Pulse Fest Fan Fest. Rather than spacing things out, Mattel, Diamond Select, & NECA decided to post similar events around the same time with less fanfare. They were all underwhelming to various degrees. I would’ve made more impulse pre-orders had Hasbro not suddenly jacked up the price of all their 6″ lines by $3. It doesn’t sound that steep on an individual basis, but it adds up when they encourage you to buy entire series of Marvel Legends to complete BAFs. With customers’ budgets already stretched thin by the terrible 2020, this feels like a precarious time to raise prices on non-essentials.

BaronZemo_Destro_Firefly

“Ach, I’m not some nouveau riche piker! I employ people to burn my money for me!”

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Amazon’s The Boys Wanna Fight…

Marvel finally confirmed Tatiana Maslany really is playing She-Hulk after two months of confusion, so I got this blog out in the nick of time! Maybe they’ll redesign Abomination to not look like Doomsday? I want less Zombie-Hulk, more Silurian-Hulk! I was expecting a confirmation that we’d finally get Tim Blake Nelson as The Leader instead. Now that this Disney Investor Day (the most banal marketing event name possible) tidbit is out of the way, we can move on to another cold take review.

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This review of The Boys comes to you courtesy of my new patron, Korey Hughes. Out of the blue, she informed me she was gifting me DVDs of the first two seasons because I don’t have Amazon Prime & she wanted to read my review of it. (I would’ve also accepted the latest seasons of The Expanse.) So this review was written for one person only. All other visitors can move along. Let this be a lesson to the rest of you: If you mail me free stuff, I will review it! This even applies to stuff you didn’t make!

Not only is this a big SPOILER alert for the first two seasons, I’ll also throw in a Content Warning! After three paragraphs of me making value judgements of source material I didn’t read, I finally start talking about the TV adaptation. There’s lots to ruminate upon in these sixteen episodes so it’s practically Love Sausage-sized! (Welcome Home, Brother Charles, exactly the wrong title for my brain to remember, beat it to the penile strangulation.) This time there won’t be any metallic lycanthropes to go with the gratuitous genitalia. Supe porn seems pretty tame compared to death by Popclaw’s snu-snu.

A_Train

Exhibit A-Train in inciting incidents.

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The Sensational 300th Blog Of She-Hulk!

This headline is sort of misleading. I have not written three-hundred blogs about Jennifer Walters the sensational She-Hulk. This is merely my three-hundredth blog on Matt The Catania, whose topic happens to be She-Hulk. I figured I should try a different topic than the best cat in the world for once. It was not my intention to draw attention away from other blogs that have legitimutantly written 300 entries on Shulkie. I apologize for the confusion. This is also an anniversary number (We survived #299!) which doesn’t coincide with an anniversary for the blog.

Hunker down for some wild thoughts on Disney+’s She-Hulk TV series. It’s still kind of timely. Can you believe Marvel & DC almost swapped She-Hulk & Martian Manhunter? Now they’ll both be live action television stars in defiance of David Goyer! All the anxiety I once had over whether Wonder Woman would suck has since been transferred to She-Hulk!

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