Happy 1st Birthday To My Blog!

Happy Birthday to Matt the Catania! You’re a whole year old & I still can’t decide if your ‘the’ is uppercase or not. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for fifty-two consecutive weeks either! After last week, I expected I’d be slain by Supergirl loyalists before the big day. (Yes, I’ll discuss some DC & Marvel movies if you keep scrolling.)

To commemorate this historic occasion, the Kindle edition of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is on sale for $0.99 through Sunday! If you prefer paperbacks, you can also get the physical edition for below cover price from Barnes & Noble or Amazon!

330_0.647739001457504548_pricepromobanenose63

So tell all your pals to get in on this limited time deal while the getting’s good! (Unless you’d prefer the schadenfreude of convincing your friends to buy it after the price reverts back to its regular $4.99 bargain.) Always remember to leave a good review after you’ve read it on its sale pages & Goodreads. Reviews, ratings, & word of mouth are the best ways you can help indie authors like myself without buying a metric ton of our books. Thank you all very much for your patronage & enjoy your book!

In less than a year, I’ve gone from having no product of my own to having my very own professionally published & self-illustrated novel to solicit. I don’t believe I’ve ever shown the back cover of my book here so let’s rectify that right now:

Banenose back

Belatedly behold the back cover of Brother Banenose!

Continue reading

Brother Banenose Is Becoming!

Buy The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose RIGHT NOW!

The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is finished! All of the required documents have been sent to Booktrope. Nobody is more impressed than me, since I started writing it in high school but have since matriculated. Clearly I lack the work ethic of Lou Bloom from Nightcrawler (sadly not starring the fuzziest blue mutie, Kurt Bamfenstein). So to celebrate, here’s the blog debut of a painting (unless you count it being in both trailers) with an excerpt & hashtag on top.rbac2

This was the first painting done of Fairuza & the baboon (who has a name, you know!). Maybe I’ll tell you more about their secret origins someday.

Today’s title says The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is (be)coming, but you can actually get it RIGHT NOW!  SURPRISE! Barnes & Noble just has the NOOK edition at the moment, but you can get the paperback & Kindle edition at Amazon. More vendors should roll out soon. Yours, dear reader, are definitely the right hands for this book to fall into. If you could review it after you’ve read it, that’d be awesome. Many thanks in advance for your gracious patronage. I’d like to thank everyone at Booktrope who helped make this happen!

Continue reading

Das traurige Abenteuer des Bruder Banenose kommt jetzt auf Deutsch!

I’m very grateful that Matt the Catania has been visited by readers across the globe. (We’re still awaiting visitors from Svalbard, Kiribati, Iran, Syria, Cuba, Central African Republic, Western Sahara, Eritrea, Equatorial Guinea, Guinea-Bissau, North Korea, Liechtenstein, Lesotho, Oman, Swaziland, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, Zimbabwe, & Antarctica.) I’m especially impressed by visitors for whom English is not their native tongue. I admire your dedication regardless of whether you’re a polyglot, using translation software, or just looking at the pictures. Which is why today’s painting obfuscated with an excerpt is in German. Dieses ist für sie, Deutschland, Österreich, die Schweiz, und ein bißchen Belgien!

qacqp

You may be a bit perplexed right now, but I can assure you this is actual dialogue from The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose. Stephfi the Marauderatrix speaks German. Don’t worry if you’re not a native German speaker. My book will teach you several German phrases that have minimal application to contemporary life!

Unfortunately there isn’t a full Deutsch translation in the works yet. I would be very happy if The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose were available if numerous languages in the near future. Its first run sales will probably go a long way towards foreign publishers working something out with Booktrope. So convince your international pen pals to buy a copy even if they can’t read it in its original format. It’s kind of like one of Walter Moers’s Zamonia books. Or for a non-Germanic name drop, let’s brazenly invoke Douglas Adams. I’m allowed to do this since I kept my Dad from grave-robbing him at Highgate Cemetery.

He REALLY wanted the pound on top.

He REALLY wanted the pound on top.

Continue reading

Better Exposure Through Defacement

The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is now listed on Goodreads. I’ll be updating it with more information as I receive it. When the book comes out, that’ll be one of the places for you to slag it off.

You’ve already seen the cover, so now behold the marketing. I’ve specially defaced one of my paintings so that you’ll have your first glimpse of the writing within. It even has the #BrotherBanenose hashtag that only I’ve used. Maybe I should’ve gone with #TDAOBB instead.

q98aa

Continue reading

Uncovering Brother Banenose’s Cover!

Remember back when I showed you the painting that would part of the cover? Well now i can finally reveal the finished front! Click below to see it unveiled in all its splendor! Of course if you’ve been directed here via social media, you’ve probably already been spoiled. But click onward anyway because I wrote some more stuff afterwards.

Continue reading

TANTO FIGHT!!!

Happy Day Without Sports, otherwise known as the day after Bastille Day! It’s my favorite holiday so I celebrate it 365 days a year! In honor of this momentous occasion, here’s that painting of a knife fight that I told you about. This is definitely not a sport. Somebody could die!

0001 (3)

Now you can see for yourself that I did a terrible job making it look like X-Men Adventures #6. First of all, there are way too many characters in it. My compositions are getting progressively more crowded. You’ll notice the titular Brother Banenose, the tooth-be-necklaced Fairuza, & the mighty Stephfi. You also get your first looks at Norbert the false pig specialist & the All-Seeing Insect of Doom! Lastly, we have the clothing-deficient [CHARACTER NAME REDACTED BECAUSE IT’S A SPOILER]!

Originally, I had intended to paint an entirely different scene for this chapter. Then I remembered I kind of made a big deal about the tanto fight so I should probably paint that. It also did not require me to paint a ceiling like the alternate scene so it won. My difficult second novel might be set entirely outdoors to completely circumvent the possible necessity of depicting ceilings.

Most books would put such a thrilling scene at the climax, but not mine! This happens in chapter ten, which is roughly the halfway point. So things can only escalate from there! Unless everything is downhill after that. I’ll let you be the judge. But first have a look at the even behind-the-scenesier uninked sketch for the painting that didn’t scan that well:

img021

If you would like to spread awareness of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose on The Twitter, please use the hashtag  #BrotherBanenose. You can alternatively use #TheDolorousAdventureOfBrotherBanenose if you have a lot of characters leftover that you’d like to use up. If you go for the acronym #TDAOBB, nobody will know what you’re typing about.

Continue reading

Oversize Scanners Are Dead! Long Live Oversize Scanners!

After weeks of merely telling you The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose will be published by Booktrope, I now have something to show for it. Feast your eyes on the brand new painting I made for its cover:

0001

Continue reading

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing, So It Must Be Art!

Welcome to Week Two of Matt The Catania! I hope you survive the experience! Since my last post, the site has gone green: Erin go bragh & eco-friendly!

The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is a book I’ve been working on for years. It’s a Medieval fantasy comedy in twenty-three chapters & an appendix about the humorous misadventures of a 14th Century Franciscan monk named Brother Banenose. Here, let me paint you a picture:

0011 - Copy

Yes, in addition to writing the novel, I’ve also illustrated parts of it. This particular scene comes straight from the first chapter. This is a book that wastes none of your time in getting to to nocturnal cleaver assaults! Isn’t that what you came here for? The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is all thriller no filler! (Unless you really like FILLER!, in which case I rescind the previous boast.)

I am a staunch proponent of novels having pictures in them. I don’t understand how society decided that pictures are only fit for children’s books. They’re an extra bastion against seas of of anarchic readers mis-imagining the author’s words. How can authors be so arrogant as to assume their words will be sufficient brainwashing? Doesn’t the literary world realize that if readers are encouraged to use their own imaginations to supplement novels they’ll eventually just dream up free entertainment for themselves causing the fall of Capitalism as we know it? That’s how post-apoctalyptic dystopias happen!

So I hope to include some artwork when The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is published for mass consumption. (It has been known to cause madness in the beta-readers I foisted it upon. For the sake of marketing, let’s call that a feature.) I have four paintings completed with a fifth in progress. (Are you interested in seeing the preliminary sketches or just the final pieces?) Unfortunately the canvases are all larger than my scanner bed. Any suggestions of where I can get high quality scans of them done? If given the choice would you prefer to see the book embellished with only paintings, only drawings, or a combination of both?

That’s all for now. Bring some friends along next time.