CW Ends DC Seasons On Bogus Cliffhangers

It was very courteous of ABC to air the latest Agents of SHIELD finale a week before these. You know the drill by now: Full SPOILERS for Supergirl, The Flash, & (Green) Arrow from here on out! (Click here for Legends of Tomorrow finale review.)

Remember how excited I was about the CW Supergirl being an improvement over the CBS version when the season premiered? Those were the good old days, before Mon-El ruined everything. Well the finale almost reached those heights because it brought back Cat Grant! The show got better as soon as Calista Flockhart returned, regardless of how cringey half of her dialogue was. Cat instantly knowing Guardian is Jimmy was priceless. Sadly her CatCo pink panther got destroyed again.

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Limited Edition Food v. Zack’s Axes

What  I am about to tell you may shock delicate sensibilities: I find pizza to be overrated. What’s wore is that both vegetarians & omnivores have found common ground in not shutting up about how great pizza is. As someone that generally avoids the stuff, I found myself improbably intrigued by the commercials for Little Caesar’s smokehouse pizza. It reminded me of the barbacoa pizza I had at Telepizza. The problem was the nearest Little Caesar’s is over an owl hour away.

Eventually, I did find an excuse to be in the neighborhood. Do all Little Caesar’s resemble fortified bank lobbies without tables on the inside? Due to the lack of seating & scenery, I had to drive to the nearest comic book shop & eat it in my car like some kind of criminal! (Do criminals often eat pizza in cars? I only ask because what I don’t know about crime could fit in a phone book. Meanwhile what I don’t know about cars could fit in two.) It was delicious! The three barbecued meats (brisket, bacon, & pulled pork) were savory & high quality for the price. I was forced to eat the entire thing by myself! I didn’t know Big Moe Cason was a person before, but now I have reason to implicitly trust him.

A few weeks later, I had another opportunity  to pass by a Little Caesar’s. They told me they don’t make the smokehouse pizza anymore. WHAT? Not only did the commercial fail to mention this concoction was a limited time offer, it wasn’t even available for a full two months? This comes on the heels of Blimpie’s & Wendy’s not reviving their explicitly limited offer BBQ pork items. Why is it so difficult for fast food restaurants to keep pulled pork on the menu? There aren’t any chains that specialize in it, so you’d think one of these trial runs would be a grand slam.

Of course the most agonizing of limited edition edibles remains the McDonald’s shamrock shake. This year was even worse because they added an array of mint-chocolate drinks with it & didn’t haven enough STRAWs to go around. (Will they have enough Frorks for Cinco de Mayo?) McDonald’s knows there’s an insane demand for these, so why only make them available around St. Patrick’s Day? They’ve got over forty years worth of market research to show it’s popular enough to keep around. Why does McDonald’s only want my patronage in the spring? I WANT TO DRINK MINTY THINGS ALL YEAR!

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Step one: Create demand for your exclusive product. Step two: Abruptly cut off this popular product’s supply. Step three: Profit?

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DC TV’s Almost Home Run Week

Our long international nightmare is finally over! As the prophecy foretold by last week’s entry brought to you by the letter T, DC shows (well, not Legends of Tomorrow)  have returned! Dare ye brave assorted Stephanie Browns SPOILERS below?

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Had he named himself the Griddler, DC could’ve made a mint on licensed waffle irons!

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No Theme This Week!

So there’s no through-line to this week’s blog! You like hearing anecdotes about my glossy-pelted kitty, right? Someone in the neighborhood honked their horn during my cat’s lunch, & she immediately left her meal to go to the door as if she expected her ride had arrived.

I found dirty footprints on my kitchen floor. The prints had four toes, but my cat has six. DUN DUN DUN! Is my kitty clever enough to disguise her footprints or has some normal-toed feline gotten into the house?

My brother-in-law said there’s no value in a conversation about whether my cat looks like King Kong:

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Mentally superimpose a helicopter over the mouse.

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Grodd Bless The Flash!

The Flash’s “Attack on Gorilla/Central City” two-parter was the antidote to the Mr. Mxyzptlk episode of Supergirl! This is what I’ve been waiting for ever since Grodd’s cage was glimpsed in the pilot! You can retire now, television! The delayed The Flash movie now has an even higher bar to clear too! This is the first time we’ve really seen Gorilla Grodd come into his own as a legitimutant supervillain. Reverse-Flash’s furry son is all grown up! If only he had better taste in armor.

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Toy Fair & Supergirl Are Inequitable!

New York Toy Fair 2017 just happened! It felt oddly underwhelming this year, possibly because many of the wares had been previewed earlier. Did any of my wish list picks (Star Wars Black, DC Icons, Marvel Legends comics, Marvel Legends movies, DC TV) get unveiled?

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The Inaugural DC Toy Fair Wish List!

One of my readers’ suggestion for 2017 was for the sort of listicles I used to write for Topless Robot & io9. While I’m eager to resume writing these for professional websites, I’m honoring reader requests in the meantime. Lists of what I’d like to see at Toy Fair this year (I’m accepting Toy Fair press passes) seem like a good topic to start with. The event is a month away, but I figure I ought to start now. A month is sufficient for the big toy companies to change their plans to suit my whims & make complete prototypes, right?

DC Collectibles is already doing sneak peeks including an expensive BTAS set of Renee Montoya, Killer Croc, Bane, Mr. Freeze, & Poison Ivy. So let’s start with them before it’s too late. They also take a really long time to get product out, so it’s best to get things onto their radar early. Since DCC does DC Icons based on the comics as well as toys based on  CW shows, I’ve concocted a separate list for each. (I guess Mattel could make entries off this list too. They just won’t be as good, although I am looking forward to their King Shark BAF.) Read onward to see the top ten DC TV characters that deserve plastic immortality!

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