Legends Of Tomorrow: Beebo Beatdown!

Welcome to Legends Of Tomorrow, the show where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter! Sometimes they screw things up for the better? Here are assorted musings on the third season’s end, although they may cease to be spoilers if time gets broken again.

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Arrow, You Have Failed This Season!

Arrow is really bad now. It’s just so bad, all y’all! If you thought season four was its nadir, have I got news for you! Its sixth season quality has become inversely proportionate to Gotham season four. I would’ve posted this sooner if I didn’t keep finding new layers of terrible as I unraveled it. This is 2,225 words, which means I either spent too much time on this or not enough.

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I’m 100% in favor of Arrow being the Speedy & Nyssa team-up show from now on. So of course that’s not happening.

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DC TV Winter Finales Are Low-Key

The Shape Of Water still isn’t playing at a theater near me yet, so I guess I’m writing about TV again this week. It’s winter finale time again for DC TV. Compared to last week’s epic Nazi-slaying crossover extravaganza, they’re on the subdued side. This year the Gotham mid-season finale (which they’re technically right in calling a season finale since its second half airs in spring) was considerate enough to line up with the CW’s. Things will be spoiled, unless you’ve seen them already. (I don’t say too much about Legends of Tomorrow as my brain has yet to fully parse its ratio of brilliant to inane this week.)

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Love During Crisis On Earth-X!

Now that Justice League finally hit the big screen (it’s so much better than Pottersville!), it’s time for their TV counterparts to crossover again in Crisis On Earth- X!  Except Batman is over in Gotham, which now makes (Green) Arrow wonder why it bothers showing up on Thursday. Whereas each part of last year’s Invasion! crossover could still function as a discrete episode of a particular series, this year’s installments are so integrated that they forgo individualized series title cards. The best way to tell which show you’re watching is by which core cast is billed first. The list of thespians that have been in all four shows just expanded! I’m glad they compressed the story’s airing into two nights for maximum momentum.

Brace for SPOILERS on Earth-Whatever-Number-This-Is!

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Henceforth he shall be known as Mr. Tallrific.

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Justice League Is Served!

Ice! Mr. Freeze! Captain Cold! Killer Frost! Icicle! Ice Maiden! Blue Snowman! Minister Blizzard! Together they are The Just Ice League! And none of them appear in the Justice League movie!

I’m pleased to say that Justice League doesn’t suck! That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s spectacular. Do not go in expecting a Marvel Studios film. It’s a good movie but not a great movie. Much of what holds it back is having to clean up after Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice. Fortunately the Justice League itself is a charismatic team instead of the maudlin worst case scenario we’d feared. The action is kinetic, the jokes are funny, & the story is coherent. So says The Wages of Cinema!

Fans of Eureka please send them feedback! Then read onward for THE SPOILERS OF JUSTICE! (They’re like the Hammers of Justice, except you can’t make bookshelves with ’em.)

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Tales Of Gotham & TMNT

After last week’s Thor Ragnarok review, I was going to tell you how Inhumans ended. The problem is I’m so far behind on Inhumans it’s not even funny. (Let me know if anyone really wants me to go Statler & Waldorf on the rest of it.) So instead I’ll write about comic book TV shows I actually enjoy: TMNT & Gotham!

Almost every arc of the shortened Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles season could serve as the series finale depending on which aspects of the show you prioritize. “When Worlds Collide” is the coda to the series’ alien intrigues. The Usagi Yojimbo arc is the most independent, but still awesome. Sadly none of the villains ever screamed “We can’t stop these radical dudes!”

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