After last week’s diversion to felines & fiction (That’s what I should’ve titled it!), we’re back to televisual spoiler reviews for the latest finales of Legion & Sense8! It’s a telepathic two-for-one!
The first season of FX’s Legion was a superhero origin story told in a dazzlingly unconventional way. Everything that was superlative of the first season’s production carries over. It excels because of its excesses! This is the most enthralling show on TV! Give it all the awards! Even when the plot in shifting towards a standard superpowered showdown, it’s supremely surreal.
With great power comes great responsibility to constantly reference “The Horns of Nimon!”
The Gifted’s first season wrapped up, so I belatedly powered my way through the last half of Inhumans. (Surely more readers are interested in how that ended now than ever before!) Now I can accurately contrast their conclusions in my follow up to the comparison of their premieres. If you don’t like reading words, you can scroll all the way down for a summary GIF. SPOILERS & legitimutantly bonkers fan theories away!
He turned his helmet insignia into a Slammer either because he’s a bad dad or the film timeline is nonsensical.
Last installment I pioneered the art of cold takes! Continuing this trend, I’ll be talking about two Netflix shows you probably already saw. Then for the sake of novelty, I’ve got exclusive cat photos! There’s a bit about some X-Men media, too. This is why the week’s headline is gibberish!
Black Mirror is the catharsis of failure. After an abundance of fiction where the protagonists win just by being the protagonists, it’s strangely refreshing to watch a series with so many downer endings. It’s very honest about the likelihood of the average bloke enacting positive change, but it still believes those attempts are worth chronicling. Rather than being depressingly nihilistic, it generally avoids focusing on schadenfreude in favor of the perseverance against insurmountable odds. It’s the long-form version of Garfunkel & Oates’s “Such a Loser.” Instead of being science-shaming speculative fiction, it gives a head’s up to prepare for the future that is bad for you. (Or pro-tips for weakpoints in your plan to ruin society with innocent technological innovations.) It’s a very Humanist show.
I couldn’t afford to watch Star Trek Discovery. (I’ve never seen so many people eager to catch STD!) So against my better judgment, I watched both of the new TV series about Marvel Comics’ genetic superhumans, Inhumans & The Gifted. So strap in for an extra long spoilerific double review!
The best part of discount Thor featuring lunar muties was that my cat tried to ensnuggle me for 3/4 of it. Brought to you by the man who gifted the world with lumberjack Dexter & dragon-free Iron Fist, Inhumans shows glimpses of cool stuff only to yank them away. I may have some controversial views on the state of Lucasfilm, but I think we can all agree that Marvel Studios letting Scott Buck helm two series was a mistake. Did it lose a contractual bet with Sony or Fox to make Inhumans’ cinematic demotion as underwhelming as possible? It’s a pity this is set when when the Agents of SHIELD are indisposed because it could desperately use some charismatic protagonists (not to mention their writers). None of the visuals justified IMAX cameras. ABC can’t make this miniseries look as good as even one of The CW’s four DC series. It takes itself way too seriously without the necessary prerequisite of actuality being quality.
The villain is an abolitionist. Go home, 2017! You’re drunk!
If you’re like me & too poor to afford to watch Twin Peaks’ revival on Showtime, Riverdale may tide you over. At first I scoffed at this show because it’s six years too late for a gritty melodramatic adaptation of Archie Comics, the wholesome teenage love triangle sitcom that has inexplicably been in print for seventy-six years. To my surprise, the show that aired after Powerless is actually good! It should not work nearly as well as it does. Curse you for making so much quality television, CW! (If comic book adaptations aren’t your cup of tea, I suggest The 100 & Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.)
It’s probably a lot easier to enjoy this if you’re not a die-hard Archie fan (I’ve never met one in person, but I’m sure they exist) since it takes giant liberties with such characters as Chuck Clayton, Dilton Doiley, & Ethel Muggs. Jughead isn’t asexual, although the series was well into development when the latest comics reboot made that canon. It would’ve been easy to write Veronica Lodge in her Middle Earth cape as the rich bitch, but they’ve subverted that so well by making her repentantly compassionate. (The ensemble is so wonderful it’s hard to believe this is Camila Mendes’s first TV role.) Instead of fighting with Betty Cooper for Archie’s affections, they’re an awesome friend duo. Prototypical all-American girl next door (which could mean something very different depending on where you go in the US) Betty Cooper gets layers & family drama from having a mom named Alice Cooper who’s not the shock rocker. It’s spider brooch wearing Cheryl Blossom that gets to be the over the top mean girl, but it’s surprising she turned out as well-adjusted given her Gothic upbringing in Thornhill. Josie & the Pussycats give ridiculously awesome concerts, although they can’t top the superlative Josie & the Pussycats movie. Archie Andrews is ostensibly the star yet he remains its least interesting character. He’s also gauche enough to wear a varsity jacket to a wake.
Another rejected pitch was Roverdale starring Arfie Andrews, Sheltie Cooper, Furronica Lodge, Pughead Jones, Chien Keller, Dilton Doggy, Reggie Mastiff, & Feral Blossom.
My review of Legion season one SPOILS all the
things vague object signifiers because I’m the magic man! Here’s the story of a fuzzy little bunny who got too close to the ocean!