Hellboy Held Up, Avengers Eventually

Last week floated the question of whether I’d be reviewing the Hellboy reboot this week. The answer is … no. Sorry, everybody eagerly awaiting my review!

I both do & don’t want to see it. I really wanted Hellboy 3 by Guillermo del Toro starring Ron Perlman! Mike Mignola’s stark minimalism was almost diametrically opposed to del Toro’s lush maximalism but it worked! (I’ve heard gossip that Mignola being displeased with the movies diverging so much from the comics was a factor in nixing the third one.) I would’ve been fine seeing this one providing the trilogy had finished, but it didn’t. The monsters in the trailers (where Hellboy says he’s a Capricorn despite being a Libra in the comics) look nifty, but both general reviewers & Hellboy fans say it’s not good. I kind of feel bad skipping it since I’ll probably end up seeing the much worse looking Dark Phoenix in theaters. The original was released in April too, but I still think October would be a better fit (especially with all the competition this month). I was thinking about seeing it at a matinee, but the timing hasn’t worked out yet. Maybe I’ll get to it once it’s completely irrelevant?

So this almost late installment will mostly be about tangential Avengers tidbits that would’ve made my forthcoming review of the next movie even more long-winded.

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The Gifted’s Sophomore Season Could’ve Been More Talented

I haven’t discussed The Gifted since the premiere, so this is going to SPOIL the rest of the second season. This is one of those times where I was writing the blog along with the series, so let me know if my amendments are coherent.

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Drunk with power after beating the Scarlet Witch at tiaras by default, Polaris turns her ultra-competitive gaze towards the Stepford Cuckoos!

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The Gifted’s Second Season Baby Boom!

The GIF Ted has returned! This time Inhumans isn’t back to make it look a zillion times better in comparison. (Marvel may be overcompensating for that failure with the Death of the Inhumans miniseries.) The Gifted season 2 moves to Tuesday at 8, which is The Flash’s time slot. Not cool, Fox! This is as bad as Supergirl & Doctor Who competing against each other. Anyway, SPOILERS for “eMergence” emerge below! This season they’re doing M-titles because they ran out of X-words.

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Valerie Vale & Silver St. Cloud in the house!

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SDCC Struck Again!

San Diego Comic Con 2018 just happened. (As expected, nobody cared about “Fiction & Felines!” while it was occurring.) I have opinions. Armchair coverage & the possible spoilers associated therewith happen below.

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The biggest news out of this year’s SDCC is … Cutthroat Island is finally getting toys!  Thanks to Blitzway, you can own a Hot Toys-style replica from the film that sunk pirate movies until until Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl surprised everyone! Congratulations, Geena Davis!

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The TRU Death

Now another eulogy for the demise of Toys R Us. Yes, I realize it finally closed weeks ago. It’s not as if that makes it less accurate now. I was a ghoul & took photos! I also ramble about some Marvel stuff (mostly stray X-thoughts) that may become obsolete as soon as SDCC happens.

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The Legion Of Sense8?

After last week’s diversion to felines & fiction (That’s what I should’ve titled it!), we’re back to televisual spoiler reviews for the latest finales of Legion & Sense8! It’s a telepathic two-for-one!

The first season of FX’s Legion was a superhero origin story told in a dazzlingly unconventional way. Everything that was superlative of the first season’s production carries over. It excels because of its excesses! This is the most enthralling show on TV! Give it all the awards! Even when the plot in shifting towards a standard superpowered showdown, it’s supremely surreal.

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With great power comes great responsibility to constantly reference “The Horns of Nimon!”

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The Gifted Vs. Inhumans

The Gifted’s first season wrapped up, so I belatedly powered my way through the last half of Inhumans. (Surely more readers are interested in how that ended now than ever before!) Now I can accurately contrast their conclusions in my follow up to the comparison of their premieres. If you don’t like reading words, you can scroll all the way down for a summary GIF. SPOILERS & legitimutantly bonkers fan theories away!

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He turned his helmet insignia into a Slammer either because he’s a bad dad or the film timeline is nonsensical.

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