The Gifted’s Second Season Baby Boom!

The GIF Ted has returned! This time Inhumans isn’t back to make it look a zillion times better in comparison. (Marvel may be overcompensating for that failure with the Death of the Inhumans miniseries.) The Gifted season 2 moves to Tuesday at 8, which is The Flash’s time slot. Not cool, Fox! This is as bad as Supergirl & Doctor Who competing against each other. Anyway, SPOILERS for “eMergence” emerge below! This season they’re doing M-titles because they ran out of X-words.

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Valerie Vale & Silver St. Cloud in the house!

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SDCC Struck Again!

San Diego Comic Con 2018 just happened. (As expected, nobody cared about “Fiction & Felines!” while it was occurring.) I have opinions. Armchair coverage & the possible spoilers associated therewith happen below.

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The biggest news out of this year’s SDCC is … Cutthroat Island is finally getting toys!  Thanks to Blitzway, you can own a Hot Toys-style replica from the film that sunk pirate movies until until Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl surprised everyone! Congratulations, Geena Davis!

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The TRU Death

Now another eulogy for the demise of Toys R Us. Yes, I realize it finally closed weeks ago. It’s not as if that makes it less accurate now. I was a ghoul & took photos! I also ramble about some Marvel stuff (mostly stray X-thoughts) that may become obsolete as soon as SDCC happens.

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The Legion Of Sense8?

After last week’s diversion to felines & fiction (That’s what I should’ve titled it!), we’re back to televisual spoiler reviews for the latest finales of Legion & Sense8! It’s a telepathic two-for-one!

The first season of FX’s Legion was a superhero origin story told in a dazzlingly unconventional way. Everything that was superlative of the first season’s production carries over. It excels because of its excesses! This is the most enthralling show on TV! Give it all the awards! Even when the plot in shifting towards a standard superpowered showdown, it’s supremely surreal.

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With great power comes great responsibility to constantly reference “The Horns of Nimon!”

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The Gifted Vs. Inhumans

The Gifted’s first season wrapped up, so I belatedly powered my way through the last half of Inhumans. (Surely more readers are interested in how that ended now than ever before!) Now I can accurately contrast their conclusions in my follow up to the comparison of their premieres. If you don’t like reading words, you can scroll all the way down for a summary GIF. SPOILERS & legitimutantly bonkers fan theories away!

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He turned his helmet insignia into a Slammer either because he’s a bad dad or the film timeline is nonsensical.

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Gifted With A Black Mirror Into A Sense8 Cat

Last installment I pioneered the art of cold takes! Continuing this trend, I’ll be talking about two Netflix shows you probably already saw. Then for the sake of novelty, I’ve got exclusive cat photos! There’s a bit about some X-Men media, too. This is why the week’s headline is gibberish!

Black Mirror is the catharsis of failure. After an abundance of fiction where the protagonists win just by being the protagonists, it’s strangely refreshing to watch a series with so many downer endings. It’s very honest about the likelihood of the average bloke enacting positive change, but it still believes those attempts are worth chronicling. Rather than being depressingly nihilistic, it generally avoids focusing on schadenfreude in favor of the perseverance against insurmountable odds. It’s the long-form version of Garfunkel & Oates’s “Such a Loser.”  Instead of being science-shaming speculative fiction, it gives a head’s up to prepare for the future that is bad for you. (Or pro-tips for weakpoints in your plan to ruin society with innocent technological innovations.) It’s a very Humanist show.

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Inhumans Vs. The Gifted

I couldn’t afford to watch Star Trek Discovery. (I’ve never seen so many people eager to catch STD!) So against my better judgment, I watched both of the new TV series about Marvel Comics’ genetic superhumans, Inhumans & The Gifted. So strap in for an extra long spoilerific double review!

The best part of discount Thor featuring lunar muties was that my cat tried to ensnuggle me for 3/4 of it. Brought to you by the man who gifted the world with lumberjack Dexter & dragon-free Iron Fist, Inhumans shows glimpses of cool stuff only to yank them away. I may have some controversial views on the state of Lucasfilm, but I think we can all agree that Marvel Studios letting Scott Buck helm two series was a mistake. Did it lose a contractual bet with Sony or Fox to make Inhumans’ cinematic demotion as underwhelming as possible? It’s a pity this is set when when the Agents of SHIELD are indisposed because it could desperately use some charismatic protagonists (not to mention their writers). None of the visuals justified IMAX cameras. ABC can’t make this miniseries look as good as even one of The CW’s four DC series. It takes itself way too seriously without the necessary prerequisite of actuality being quality.

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The villain is an abolitionist. Go home, 2017! You’re drunk!

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