Turtle Talk

Last week was legendary for the blog as I reviewed Shang-Chi & The Legend Of The Ten Rings & Legends Of Tomorrow season six back to back. I’d also written about Marvel Legends X-Men within seven days prior. Now to resume less tightly spaced blogging. This time I’ll talk about those terrible toyetic terrapins, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! So technically this ramble could’ve also been titled “Mutant Musings.” Pick up the metaphorical cheese phone of destiny by reading onward!

The Shredder

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The Toy Fair’s Not Back In Town

Action figures are good, but they can be better! All you have to do is become a customizer! Toys are like drugs except you need to find a place to keep them after the high wears off.

NY Toy Fair has been cancelled for 2021. In lieu of the big press show, many companies are doing smaller virtual conventions through the year. The most hyped was last week’s Hasbro Pulse Fest Fan Fest. Rather than spacing things out, Mattel, Diamond Select, & NECA decided to post similar events around the same time with less fanfare. They were all underwhelming to various degrees. I would’ve made more impulse pre-orders had Hasbro not suddenly jacked up the price of all their 6″ lines by $3. It doesn’t sound that steep on an individual basis, but it adds up when they encourage you to buy entire series of Marvel Legends to complete BAFs. With customers’ budgets already stretched thin by the terrible 2020, this feels like a precarious time to raise prices on non-essentials.

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“Ach, I’m not some nouveau riche piker! I employ people to burn my money for me!”

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It’s The Most Marvelous Time Of The Year!

After last week’s commissioned deep dive into Stormfront the proverbial milkshake duck, I figured it’s time to clear out some of the Marvel content cluttering my drafts. I won’t be finished editing my X Of Swords review until nobody cares, so this is light on X-Men content. It does have a surfeit of pre-Christmas action figure photos if that’s your bag. (I will regret this if Santa only delivers coal this year.) After the MCU news musings not involving She-Hulk, my comic book thoughts are separated by superfluous tildes!

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“Now I have The Phoenix Force! Ho ho ho!”

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Yes, We Have No Content!

We have no content today!

As you probably know by now, the Fall 2020 TV season isn’t really happening. Some series have begun filming again (This doesn’t seem safe given the general state of Covid Compliance Officers.), but new episodes won’t be arriving until January 2021. This puts me at a disadvantage because I typically fill out the rest of the year blogging about season premieres, series premieres, & mid-season finales.

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Why Can’t We Ban Star Wars?

The Star Wars is a pathway to much suffering that some may consider unnatural. Its fandom is in a weird place now. Despite making billions of dollars on its new films, Disney’s grand plan to continually spawn more movies appears to have been scuttled. Its Story Group was so preoccupied with streamlining all the continuity that it somehow failed to plan ahead to the trilogy’s culmination. So theoretically Star Wars is over. Meanwhile TV series like The Mandalorian & The Clone Wars spinoff (Being less disappointing on television is Star Trek’s angle!) plus comic books like The High Republic are still getting buzz. So Disney put all this effort into wiping the slate clean of the sprawling Expanded Universe, only to discovery that ancillary media evoking it was more acclaimed than its flagship offerings. Go figure!

As someone who experiences Star Wars primarily through film & action figures, I’m satisfied to shrug & let the it go at this point. I like to insist I enjoy Star Wars less than you while still meeting the minimum criteria for being a fan. “We can move on to other franchises now, everybody!” says the bloke who insisted on watching The New Mutants. I’d be less bothered about SW discourse if it didn’t continue being so obnoxiously overexposed. It’s been a really tough year to write weekly content for, however, so I’m still going to write about Ewoks! Who is your favorite Star Warrior & why is it Albrekh?

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The Umbrella Academy’s Sophomore Term Needs Novelty

Now that SDCC 2020 is over, we can turn our gaze towards something originally intended for remote viewing: The Umbrella Academy season two! I did three different text manipulations of the same still. In upholding this blog’s tradition, none of them are funny! Can you stand the SPOILERS under my umbrella, Ella?

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Virtual SDCC Feels The Same To Me

Unlike last year’s false advertising, this is really the fiftieth anniversary of San Diego Comic Con. This year everybody’s got armchair reporting because it’s the only option! How egalitarian! Now my blog finally has the same level of convention coverage as professional news sites!

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Because I’m Addicted To Batwoman Ideas…

Katy Keene is kaput. (Although a vampire show written by Roberto Aguirre-Sacasa on ABC would’ve been terrible, I’m more upset by The Brides not getting picked up because it deprives Gina Torres & Erin Richards of showing off their fangs.) They should’ve made Josie & The Pussycats (In Outer Space) with Keene as their supporting stylist instead! At least it won’t be confusing with the CW simultaneously airing series starring Katy Keene & Kate Kane anymore… Oh yeah, this article is about me overthinking exactly how Batwoman season two is doomed.

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This Custom Is Elektra-fying!

I promised the next blog would be less topical. So now without further ado, here’s my latest Gotham custom! Wait … that ain’t right! NOOOOO!!!! My personal brand is ruined! Whoopsie!

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“SNIKT, bub!”

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Toy Fair & Supergirl Are Inequitable … Again?

But I already wrote wrote about Toy Fair & Supergirl! Neither episode set at the National City Toy Fair overlapped with the New York Toy Fair. Last time I even reviewed another Mr. Mxyzptlk story. What fearful symmetry! With history repeating, here’s a SPOILER recap of Supergirl’s hundredth episode following my second-hand coverage of Toy Fair! I’m skipping conversation on the retro rehashes because that trend needs to be thrown into the sun!

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