The Toy Fair’s Not Back In Town

Action figures are good, but they can be better! All you have to do is become a customizer! Toys are like drugs except you need to find a place to keep them after the high wears off.

NY Toy Fair has been cancelled for 2021. In lieu of the big press show, many companies are doing smaller virtual conventions through the year. The most hyped was last week’s Hasbro Pulse Fest Fan Fest. Rather than spacing things out, Mattel, Diamond Select, & NECA decided to post similar events around the same time with less fanfare. They were all underwhelming to various degrees. I would’ve made more impulse pre-orders had Hasbro not suddenly jacked up the price of all their 6″ lines by $3. It doesn’t sound that steep on an individual basis, but it adds up when they encourage you to buy entire series of Marvel Legends to complete BAFs. With customers’ budgets already stretched thin by the terrible 2020, this feels like a precarious time to raise prices on non-essentials.


“Ach, I’m not some nouveau riche piker! I employ people to burn my money for me!”

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The Midsommar Blues

Remember how at the end of the fiftieth forty-ninth anniversary SDCC overview I said the next entry would be more punctual. Whoops! No The Boys critique here! I could’ve had this up earlier had I not myopically decided readers would only be interested in SDCC. (Perhaps I shouldn’t have admitted upfront to not being present as I would’ve given essentially the same level of coverage either way.) If you skip past the movie review, at least the esoteric prediction is right.

I saw Midsommar at a weekday matinee, so I had the theater all to myself. It wasn’t soundproofed to the adjourning one playing Aladdin though. By now it’s left most theaters, but I’ll still SPOIL it for you. (Not Aladdin, the animated original should’ve done that for you already.)


This might be tangentially relevant?

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Got Gotham Gab?

This is one of those relaxing weeks before the new TV season starts up. So I’m going to regale you with some random Batman musings that didn’t fit elsewhere. I repeat “Gotham” a lot even though it won’t return for its swan song until next year like Game of Thrones. (Get a jump on those mash-up videos now, YouTuberrs!) There’s also a bit about that Joker movie that is still happening for some reason & the Doom Patrol show that might be good. This may be a good opportunity to read my Preacher season three review if you prefer a tighter theme. Everybody loves Batman, however, so this is a must read post! After all, utility belts are just organized fanny packs. Pay no mind to whatever Captain Marvel news is happening!

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An Interview For Your Eyes Only

I usually do podcast interviews for your ears only, but this time you’ll have to read. Brandon Reis interviewed me for the William Paterson University Honors College newsletter. Whilst on campus, I was also able to present Professor John Peterman with a personalized copy for his guidance on The Dolorous Adventure Of Brother Banenose back was it was just an un-illustrated thesis. With any luck, my alma mater will invite me to speak to students directly next time.


Let me know if you have any suggestions on what you’d like me to address in upcoming interviews, blogs, signings, & speaking engagements! Also feel free to contact my manager ( if you’d like to set any of those up.

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Topless R.I.P.


Topless Robot, otherwise known as The Robot’s Voice, died suddenly on December 18, 2015, at age eight. Ironically, I got the news while I was writing an article for it on the impending yet planned end of Gravity Falls. WHOSE RESPONSIBLE THIS?

Once I won an original Topless Robot t-shirt in gray by positing that Peter Milligan’s X-Men was the worst comic book run. (If I was entering that contest today, I’d say Brian Bendis’s entire X-Men oeuvre  fails with an intensity & focus normally seen only in success.) I was wearing that shirt when I met the site’s creator & original editor, Rob Bricken, over drinks & inquired how I could become a successful nerd journalist just like him. He said I just had to send him some listicles he liked the gist of. Shortly after I graduated law school, Topless Robot published “The 13 Best Lawyers In Comic Books.” This was my first paid professional writing gig.

I wrote several more articles for Rob until he abruptly left for io9. I applied to become the site’s new editor, but the position was granted to Luke Y. Thompson instead. Similar to the Mike vs. Joel debate among MST3K fans, you can know find bands of warring TR loyalists who swear by Rob or Luke. I was fortunate enough that Luke kept me on as a freelancer following the regime change. While Rob only required me to email in my articles as attachments that he somehow transmogrified into webpages, Luke insisted I upload everything myself via Movable Type. (The site eventually upgraded to WordPress.) I initially balked at this strange new responsibility since it didn’t include a raise for the additional effort, but it did teach me how to compulsively hyperlink.

So losing Topless Robot right before Christmas really cut me to the quick. Not only did I enjoy reading & commenting on its articles, it also laid the foundation of  my career. Learning how to format articles online allowed me to figure out how to do this blog. Without my  Topless Robot portfolio, I wouldn’t have been invited to guest blog for io9. All of that convinced Booktrope that publishing The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose was a worthwhile risk.

I’ll miss Topless Robot economically because it gave me money to rant about stuff I like. I was counting on writing many more articles for it, including the two about movie helmets & Gravity Falls that were not published. It’s extra frustrating because Village Voice Media shut it down before I could convince Luke to run any promotional articles on The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose in the spirit of cronyism. Now I have to compete against Luke & all the other TR freelancers out of jobs for nerdy writing gigs, & I don’t have enough contacts to be good at competition.  So if anyone out there reading this is hiring geeky writers in this over-saturated market, please pick up the receiver so I can make you a believer.

Raise your glass in honor of the labor of Rob, Luke, & all the contributors. Alas & alack! We really shook the pillars of Heaven, didn’t we, Topless Robot?


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The Game Is Afoot?

“The more that I read I think that the story would make a good video game, with all of its levels!” says my Grandma. I don’t own a video game playing machine, but this sounds about right. Any video game developers reading this that’d like a piece of the action before The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose becomes the next big thing?

The Holiday Prefunk promotion has ended, but you can get learn of great ebook deals by signing up for Runaway Goodness’s newsletter. While the sale may be over, it’s never a bad time to buy The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose! It makes the perfect present for Hanukkah, Christmas, Yule, New Year, Groundhog’s Day, Valentine’s Day, birthdays, anniversaries, or whatever winter holidays you celebrate!

Thanks to Robert “Sharky” Pruneda for giving me a cameo on his Thanksgiving blog, which I should’ve linked to in my Thanksgiving blog.

I Got 99 Problems, But Bestselling Ain’t One!

Thank you very much to everyone who downloaded a freebie of Brother Banenose last week! Not only did it start the week off as #1 in free historical fantasy, it wrapped up as #4 in both free historical fantasy & free LGBT fantasy! Nobody gives away intangibles better than Runaway Goodness! And nobody accepts them better than YOU!


The free period is over, but you can still get it for $2.99 for the rest of November. The morning after the promotion ended, it was #99 in non-free LGBT fantasy & #110 in non-free humorous fantasy! Barely making it onto a non-free top 100 list officially qualifies it a legitimutant best seller! Thank you very much, paying customers, for giving me a bona fide excuse to coin the term legitimutant!


Then on Sunday, it popped up to #83 just to undermine the dated reference in my headline. Look whose book it beat out:


Yup, I outsold THE Stephen Fry in this category. Even temporarily, this does not compute. Stephen Fry would be an excellent narrator for the audiobook, by the way.

I’m still avaricious enough to want to climb even higher in the rankings, so please continue to purchase the book or get other people to do it for you by adding it to your wishlists. A fortnight ago, I signed a big stack of paperbacks. In fact, I’ve signed every paperback I’ve had the pleasure of meeting thus far. So unsigned paperbacks of my debut novel may actually be rarer than the ones I’ve defaced with inscriptions & doodles. Pristine copies cou actually be worth a lot more money one day!

So now that people that I don’t know are reading my book, I’d like to hear what you think about it. Should I backtrack on my current plan to not write a sequel? Or should I not write another book, period? Tell me in the comments. Or you can click the heart icon to let me hear your opinion on a social feed of your choice.

Now here’s an interview with d20 RouletteI met half their team through the superlative fictional resource & its equally amazing fan forum, Unstable Molecules. This was my first Skype interview:


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And The First Interview Shall Be Second!

Robert Moore of The International Writers Association interviewed me! The interview portion of the podcast begins at 25:28:

This was actually my very first interview for The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose, albeit the not the first one uploaded. Do I sound like Kermit the Frog?

Would you like to interview me by audio or text too? Write to She can also arrange book signings & public appearances. Or if you just have a question, you can leave it in the comments or on the social media linked to the heart icon.

Look, it’s the first book photo submission that I didn’t take! Sending in photos of yourself with an ebook counts too. Just use #BrotherBanenose so I can find them.


Falling tree branch implicated in arboreal assassination attempt on me. Only casualty was a cup of cold tea. Had special branch been successful, the aftermarket value of signed copies of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose would’ve skyrocketed.

If you come directly to the main page, do you click “continue reading” or just ignore them? Do you prefer having entire lengthy blog posts appear or the main page?  Also, do you realize that purple text are hyperlinks? (It seems one of my links to Unstable Molecules isn’t working but I’m not certain which article it’s from. If you find this one or another broken link, let me know so I can replace it.)

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The Wages of Publication … Is Death!

The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose is a real live book! It came out right in the nick of time for me to be eligible for a “30 Under 30” list … hint, hint, whoever writes “30 Under 30” lists. Booktrope letting me become a first time professional author & illustrator in one go was an excellent early birthday gift!

I’ve been interviewed by my pal Jack “Green Eyes” Gattanella on The Wages of Cinema podcast about my writing process, creative pursuits, & nerdy pastimes!

Important question: Would you be interested in buying color prints of the book’s paintings? Let me know in the comments.

Hey readers! Send in your snap shots with the book! I’m not sure how best to add them in the comment section, but you can post them to the Fan Page or tweet them with #BrotherBanenose. (Maybe this is what Instagram & Pinterest are for?)Then I’ll repost them so YOU can become even more Interwuzzle famous. Bonus points if you get a photo of it being sold at an actual brick & mortar store. Here, I’ll start us off. Check out the lovely gilded bands Ashley Ruggirello put on the spine:


Don’t have a copy of The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose yet? Barnes & Noble, Amazon, & iTunes can hook you up.

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Brother Banenose Trailer 2: Medieval Boogaloo!

As it turns out, writing blog titles in German doesn’t boost global readership! Who knew? Here’s the epic second trailer for The Dolorous Adventure of Brother Banenose you’ve all been waiting for! Now with gratuitous grimdark!

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