I’ve got a backlog of writing that’s more esoteric than my usual rants. Since my neophyte blogging days, however, I’ve learned it’s better for site traffic to prioritize blogs that are newsworthy in the moment. (Even being well timed, however, isn’t a guarantee they’ll be popular upon posting.) Then when there isn’t anything trendy happening in a given week, I get confused over which ramble is most worth editing into something readable.
That was going to be the case last week, but then I heard D23 was happening. So after postponing to see if anything earthshaking was revealed, it was more of a
Loki lowkey affair aside from a Werewolf By Night trailer & Thunderbolts roster. So then I opted not to rush to publish my thoughts. Instead this is mostly rambling Marvel Cinematic Universe cold takes. I held back some stuff that’d be germane to She-Hulk: Attorney At Law & Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. In addition to general MCU & adjacent Spider-Man, I’ll start off with hypothetical X-Men. Belated Marvel Comics rants will be a future blog.
This week’s topic is The Sandman’s surprise episode & Cheryl Blossom in Riverdale season six. Why? Because there’s no overlap, that’s why! I was so preoccupied with whether or not I could, I didn’t stop to think if I should combine them! I’ve gone mad with limited power! Since virtually nobody else will be writing up the particular combo, it saves me the trouble of writing a less basic headline too. SPOILERS ahead for the combo you never knew you needed!
Sayonara, San Diego! A new age of wonderment is upon us! Riverdale is now all aboard the cuckoo bananas supernatural train! This formerly listless show finally got onto some rails. They may be rails of coke but rails nonetheless. Huzzah for season 6(66)! Sometimes I think the cast deserves hazard pay for reciting their dialogue. The cruel premature cancellation of Legends Of Tomorrow inflicted so much psychic trauma upon me that Riverdale now fills me with excitement rather than ennui. (I’m a very disturbed individual.) Shun the nonbelievers that claim season six jumped the shark! Verily Riverdale finally blossomed into its ideal self. I’m extra mad at seasons four & five sucking so badly that they made viewers quit before this legitimutantly good season.
It’s kind of genius that all the mundane context for these characters was laid out well in advance of the spooky stuff. It’d have to vie for attention if it were horror from the outset. The supernatural storylines feel better less nonsensical than the supposedly realistic ones of seasons past. (I got “Twin Babies Levitating Over a Fire as Part of a Cult Ritual Led by Chad Michael Murray” in the “What Riverdale Subplot Are You?” quiz!) They’re better foreshadowed than the gobbledygook The Flash has been spewing lately too. Now that it’s genuinely supernatural, the kooky character motivations & loopy internal logic actually make more sense. Strap in cause I’ve got fifteen more episodes full of weird mysteries to synopsize. If you bailed earlier, you won’t believe the following are real SPOILERS & not me slowly dying from a gas leak!
You may also substitute another favorite prematurely cancelled show of your choice. There’s no shortage.
After a two year absence, San Diego Comic Con returned in collective figurative person to San Diego! As a germaphobe on a limited budget, I did not partake of the festivities directly. I enjoyed the virtual panels that I used to be able to stream at home, but they’ve been discontinued. While I couldn’t observe the Gremlins: Secrets Of The Mogwai panel, I’m relived Tze Chun meeting Greta went great. Despite what crazy people on The Twitter insisted, neither Henry Cavill nor Elizabeth Olsen showed up! The amount of Everything Everywhere All At Once cosplay I saw secondhand pleased me.
I was planning on doing one of my non-review blogs after Thor Part IV & Ms. Marvel’s inaugural season, but a heatwave of the non-Mick Rory variety struck. I can work when it’s too hot or too cold. I need a temperature-regulating gimp suit like Scorpius. Then I got hung up obsessing over SDCC tidbits from another timezone. So I realized nobody would bother reading a non-SDCC article from me. I doubt anyone even wants to read an SDCC retrospective from me, but sometimes you have to write a low stakes blog to remind visitors there’ll be better blogs soon. If you share my incredibly narrow interests, this armchair SDCC coverage is the overview for you! It goes action figures, Marvel, & DC. As usual, no actual comic book news will be involved!
“Are you here for Dom-Con too?” “No, we’re looking for the American Library Association conference.”
Ms. Marvel is the second of the unofficial Disney+ Phase Two introducing new headliners. She made it onto a billboard that looks blatantly photoshopped. The proudly ignorant are boycotting the series. Or is that just Poe’s Law in action?
Marvel Studios has had great success streamlining decades of continuity for modern audiences whilst maintaining the comics’ spirits. Kamala Khan only dates back to 2013. They shouldn’t need to make any drastic changes. I generally feel that unless there’s a compelling reason for altering things, adaptations should be as close to the source material as possible to best represent the stories they’re ostensibly based upon. Marvel’s alterations range from good (inventing Layla El Faouly) to neutral (Kate Bishop being Hawkeye’s only fan) to bad (America Chavez as a damsel in distress). Rejiggering this fan favorite headliner filled many with trepidation as to where in that spectrum it’d land. So in addition to season one SPOILERS, this review will contain additional kvetching about changes in translation. (I do that anyway, so I’m not sure if it’s to a greater degree this time.) I HATE CHANGE!
The end of June/start of July was jam packed with season finales for Superman & Lois, The Flash, & Stranger Things. Now it’s finally time for my most anticipated movie of the year, Th4! If you’ve already read my teaser reaction for Thor: Love & Thunder & my Marvel Legends gallery, a fun game will be seeing how much of this review I directly plagiarized from myself. If you’ve not read those blogs, all this will be new to you! Either way, this The Wages Of Cinema collaboreview crackles with SPOILERS for the fourth Thor! Grab your Mjolnir popcorn bucket & rock onward!
I have minimal interest in what “Ben” Kenobi was doing on Tatooine before Star Wars, whereas I have maximum interest in seeing how the Legends Of Tomorrow get out of time-jail. As someone who’s proudly in the “Obi-Wan was actually terrible” camp, the very notion of Disney trying to redeem filled me with contempt. I was so disinterested in this that I didn’t even give this Jedi’s solo series a shot until after the fourth episode premiered. It’s … better than I expected. Is Obi-Wan Kenobi the Hawkeye of Star Wars TV shows? SPOILERS for a series that shouldn’t have any by design follow.
If you see a Jedi shoplifting, [waves hand] you didn’t.
With 7/9 of Stranger Things season four out & Ms. Marvel just begun, let’s use this interlude for a gallery of my Thor: Love & Thunder toys. By which I mean I only bought Mighty Thor & King Valkyrie. If I’d timed it better, I could’ve published this on Natalie Portman’s birthday or at least to coincide with the new commercial. This blog should be somewhat less wordy than usual despite me theorizing about the film.
“Whosoever holds this hammer, if they be worthy, shall possess the power of …THOR!”
We bid you welcome to The Wages Of Cinema collaboreview for Doctor Strange In The Multiverse Of Madness! Do you need to see WandaVision before Dr. Strange 2? If you don’t have Disney+ like our control group, Andrew, scope out this review first. I’m dropping additional thoughts on the series afterwards anyway.
Is there even a point to this now that Everything Everywhere All At Once exists? Its international titles are on point. I would’ve gone with Dr. Strangemom, Or How I Stopped Worrying & Learned To Love The Multiverse. I’m not going to argue with Jamie Lee Curtis!
Can we live in the altverse where The CW gives Legends Of Tomorrow the final season it deserves? Is this sequel actually about Dr. Strange, or is he merely filler betwixt multiverse cameos? Does DSITMOM distract from thinking about Natalie Portman’s arms in Thor: Love & Thunder? Grab a popcorn cube & prepare for SPOILERS! Don’t even read the tags if you want to be surprised by cameos.
Before we get to the Moon Knight meat, I implore you not to give up the fight to get Legends Of Tomorrow a proper conclusion in the face of premature cancellation. I just sent a three page email to HBO Max, Warner Bros. TV, & Netflix in an effort to save the Beeboverse’s best show. Let’s screw things up for the better!
Where’s Moon Knight’s bread? He should eat only croissants! Hopefully Moon Knight works out better than the last time Oscar Isaac played an Egyptian-flavored Marvel character that’s space slut adjacent. This is the first of the D+ series not to headline a pre-existing MCU character. Ms. Marvel & She-Hulk will follow his lead. So get your psyche straight for SPOILERS! Bill Sienkiewicz’s cover for Empire is better than the photo variant. Check out his awesome nine panel action grid!