Tales Of Gotham & TMNT

After last week’s Thor Ragnarok review, I was going to tell you how Inhumans ended. The problem is I’m so far behind on Inhumans it’s not even funny. (Let me know if anyone really wants me to go Statler & Waldorf on the rest of it.) So instead I’ll write about comic book TV shows I actually enjoy: TMNT & Gotham!

Almost every arc of the shortened Tales Of The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles season could serve as the series finale depending on which aspects of the show you prioritize. “When Worlds Collide” is the coda to the series’ alien intrigues. The Usagi Yojimbo arc is the most independent, but still awesome. Sadly none of the villains ever screamed “We can’t stop these radical dudes!”

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Thor Ragnarok (& Roll) Is Hela Good!

You ever go to a barbecue joint you haven’t been to in a while & decide you might as well splurge on a full rack of baby back  ribs? Then when they bring out your food, it looks like almost too much food? But then you start on the first rib & it’s even more delicious than you remembered. So you quickly strip the flesh from a second rib. Then a haze sweeps over you. Once it passes you see your glass of sangria is empty, your plate of ribs contains naught but a heap of bones, the other patrons have expired with large chunks missing, & your hands are covered in red goo of assorted viscosity. Then you declare that it was really yummy! Luckily the kitchen staff appears intact so you may return. That’s what Thor Ragnarok is like!

The Wages of Cinema invited me back to collaboreview it with them. I agreed since they had nice things to say about me in their retrospective podcast of favorite episodes. Verily doth SPOILERS roam free onward!

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Happy Helaween From The Upside Down!

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I made you a turducken of terror!

Unlike the first season of Stranger Things, I was able to watch 2 Stranger 2 Things without the Interwuzzle spoiling everything for me! (I did so instead of catching up on Inhumans because I was the real monster all along!) So now I’ll spoil it for you! But odds are you also spent the weekend binging it. I guess this will still be around if you’d prefer to finish it & return, too.

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Gifted With A Black Mirror Into A Sense8 Cat

Last installment I pioneered the art of cold takes! Continuing this trend, I’ll be talking about two Netflix shows you probably already saw. Then for the sake of novelty, I’ve got exclusive cat photos! There’s a bit about some X-Men media, too. This is why the week’s headline is gibberish!

Black Mirror is the catharsis of failure. After an abundance of fiction where the protagonists win just by being the protagonists, it’s strangely refreshing to watch a series with so many downer endings. It’s very honest about the likelihood of the average bloke enacting positive change, but it still believes those attempts are worth chronicling. Rather than being depressingly nihilistic, it generally avoids focusing on schadenfreude in favor of the perseverance against insurmountable odds. It’s the long-form version of Garfunkel & Oates’s “Such a Loser.”  Instead of being science-shaming speculative fiction, it gives a head’s up to prepare for the future that is bad for you. (Or pro-tips for weakpoints in your plan to ruin society with innocent technological innovations.) It’s a very Humanist show.

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Do Androids Dream Of Blade Runner 2049?

Can you believe we’re already up to the 2,048th Blade Runner sequel? The original is both a great movie & a bad adaptation of Philip K. Dick’s Do Androids Dream Of Electric Sheep? (It was refreshingly humanistic to see a dystopian future on a dying world where people get along through a Jain-like religion based on empathy & animal reverence. ) I got to chat about the latest one on The Wages of Cinema because its usual co-host was unavailable again. When you can’t get Andrew, settle for second best! Ofjack Korey is there too!

Pretty much anything I type about this film is a spoiler, so let’s drive right into Blade Runner 2049! Uh, you should probably watch the one of the cuts of the first flick beforehand as well.

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Inhumans Vs. The Gifted

I couldn’t afford to watch Star Trek Discovery. (I’ve never seen so many people eager to catch STD!) So against my better judgment, I watched both of the new TV series about Marvel Comics’ genetic superhumans, Inhumans & The Gifted. So strap in for an extra long spoilerific double review!

The best part of discount Thor featuring lunar muties was that my cat tried to ensnuggle me for 3/4 of it. Brought to you by the man who gifted the world with lumberjack Dexter & dragon-free Iron Fist, Inhumans shows glimpses of cool stuff only to yank them away. I may have some controversial views on the state of Lucasfilm, but I think we can all agree that Marvel Studios letting Scott Buck helm two series was a mistake. Did it lose a contractual bet with Sony or Fox to make Inhumans’ cinematic demotion as underwhelming as possible? It’s a pity this is set when when the Agents of SHIELD are indisposed because it could desperately use some charismatic protagonists (not to mention their writers). None of the visuals justified IMAX cameras. ABC can’t make this miniseries look as good as even one of The CW’s four DC series. It takes itself way too seriously without the necessary prerequisite of actuality being quality.

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The villain is an abolitionist. Go home, 2017! You’re drunk!

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Pre-Defenders / Post-DuckTales Escapism!

The Defenders comes out on Friday! Until I get a chance to watch it at a leisurely pace, here’s some random other musings! If you make it to the bottom, I’ll tell you about DuckTales!

My feline overlord had her ferocious fifth birthday! She actually liked her presents this year! I don’t know how to process this.

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A Purricane of judgmental kitties would be more terrifying than any Sharknado.

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