The Umbrella Academy’s Sophomore Term Needs Novelty

Now that SDCC 2020 is over, we can turn our gaze towards something originally intended for remote viewing: The Umbrella Academy season two! I did three different text manipulations of the same still. In upholding this blog’s tradition, none of them are funny! Can you stand the SPOILERS under my umbrella, Ella?

Mysterio_Carmichael

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I Finally Watched The HBO Watchmen

The recent earthquake in Tulsa, Oklahoma heralded me finishing viewing HBO’s Watchmen! I finally got to watch it when HBO put it up for free Juneteenth weekend. Hot on the paws of Cats, here’s my cold take on HBO’s Watchmen! I did it thirty-five minutes ago. You’ve probably seen it by now too, but the nonlinear Spoiler Warning remains at one minute to midnight. Much like the original, it doesn’t center around a timepiece-themed team. I believe their continued omission is a mistake!

WatchmenPorn

They’re leaving money on the table by not producing that vibrator.

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SDCC Turned Fifty?

HUZAH! It’s the fiftieth anniversary of San Diego Comic Convention! I didn’t attend, thanks for asking. (I took last week off anyway after reviewing Stranger Things 3.) Did you? Here is my armchair event coverage (loosely arranged by DC, Marvel, & miscellaneous mess) that’s rapidly losing topicality! Wait, shouldn’t it be celebrating it golden anniversary next year?

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Batman v. Superman: Audio v. Visual Review

I saw Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice on Thursday, possibly so you don’t have to. As promised, these are my thoughts on it. This is a special review because it’s both audio & visual! Embedded below is my guest review of the film on The Wages of Cinema podcast. Beneath that is my solo written review. This counts as visual because you need to read letters with your eyes.

So if you opted out of the audio review, let me reiterate that this movie is dumb & pretentious. I am on record as thinking this movie would be a bad idea. Much of my doom foresight proved accurate. If you hated Man of Steel, you’re not going to like this either. That said, I didn’t completely hate this movie. I didn’t read all the negative reviews for it, but touting it as the worst movie ever is hyperbole. I say this objectively, having seen far too many abysmal movies in my life. It’s not a very good movie, mind you, but loathing it that much gives the film too much credit. Or it doesn’t give the film enough credit in the wake of all the obstacles & expectations it faced, if you’re in a generous mood. Now let’s dive into SPOILERS & nerdy nitpicks for a critique that’s as overly long as the movie’s name!

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