Stargirl’s Three Thousand Years Of Longing

The headline was originally going to be “Three Thousand Years Of Longing For Stargirl,” but it sounded a tad too skeevy. I doubt anybody’s been that horny for Stargirl for so long anyway. I’m glad its third season is now here though! Ordinarily I’d wait until the season was over to review it all at once, but those posts might be prohibitively long. Also The CW series I watch that haven’t been massacred aren’t returning this fall, so there’s not going to be as much topic competition this year. I did want to recommend Three Thousand Years Of Longing though since it’s unjustly bombing. Both include a Djinn, so they’ve got more commonality than Riverdale & The Sandman (aside from serial killer conventions). Do you wish for SPOILERS?

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A Decade Of D-Cat!

It’s cat bloggin’ time! Recently I celebrated my cat’s tenth birthday. (I waited until after to write this headline & introduction so as not to jinx it with tragedy.) I don’t know if it’s her real birthday, but it’s the one I assigned her in lieu of a birth certificate. It’s also not her tenth anniversary of being the feline in residence. (Until her family pays her ransom, this cat will continue to be my hostage.) Rather than continuously refer to her generically, I will reveal her first name starts with D. This will maintain a level of privacy for her & prevent me from having to commit to one spelling online. Happy decade to the D-Cat!

Unlike the inflatable birthday hat fiasco, this year I went out of my way to purchase her Yeoww! catnip toys from Pet Goods she actually appreciates. The path of least resistance works to placate pussycats! Hopefully they’ll make some catnip fish in new colors because I believe she now has the complete set. She’s quite fond of nip-pineapple. I was able to get plenty of photos of her playing with her new toys, but the lighting wasn’t ideal. So here’s some of her wielding hammers instead!

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“These tools are mine now. I am become a hammerist.”

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Whipping Up Lashina

If you wanted a very verbose blog about customizing Lashina & her use within DC Comics, you’ve come to the right place! If not, just look at the pictures. Either way it gives you more fake nerd cred than reading a Thor 4 trailer reaction. The real nerd cred, however, comes from supporting #renewLegendsOfTomorrow until The CW bends to our will! The bastards just cancelled Legends Of Tomorrow the same day we lost Neal Adams & Batwoman? GRODD DAMN THEM! Now back #saveLegendsOfTomorrow & petition HBO Max to give it a proper wrap-up!

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Post-Apocalyptic jump rope has a dress code.

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The XS-ively Verbose Seventh Blogiversary!

Why does anyone still go to Central City’s Jitters? Its loyalty rewards program is unbeatable, & tourists are thrilled to see meta-crooks wreck the light fixtures! Those aren’t SPOILERS ahead for the latest The Flash episode, but they could be for the overall series. I’ll also ramble about Batwoman, DC Multiverse toys, & The Batman in a desperate attempt at relevancy for my seventh anniversary blog.

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Dot’s All For The Suicide Squad’s Polka-Dot Man

McFarlane Toy’s DC Multiverse Polka-Dot Man was molded in ecru despite his suit in The Suicide Squad clearly being white. The toy also comes with a card pointing out they didn’t paint the dots right. (In ye olden days, Todd would’ve given it immaculate paint at the expense of useful articulation.) So I did the only sane thing & repainted it. See if you can spot all the differences.

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“Taste the rainbow … OF DEATH!”

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The Official Cat Post Of 2021

I finally got around to publishing my annual cat post! As usual, it contains anecdotes about my kitty & assorted cat links with minimal narrative cohesion. Many of the links I’d collected over the year turned out to be from retricted or deleted accounts the day before just to make this more challenging. I even found new things to say about Cats. So bully for you if that’s what you’ve been waiting for from my blog! If not, come back soon for the forthcoming The Flash Armageddon, Rivervale, Spider-Man: No Way Home, & Hawkeye reviews torrent! Maybe I’ll enjoy some of them more than Batwoman’s third season?

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Justice League Snyder Cut Discourse Is Served!

Welcome to my sixth blogiversary! I had three different blogs in progress (DuckTales series finale, The Flash’s “season Finale,” Justice League Snyder cut) for the stacked events of this anniversary week. I let the people vote, & they chose violence the Snyder cut by a huge margin. Nobody voted for the poor F-Lash, which may explain when last year’s anniversary blog performed poorly despite an adorable Grodd pic. (Aren’t they all?) Keep your eyes peeled for the two losing blogs sometime in the near future.

Black Widow is the opposite of the Snyder cut in the sense that it existed before the pandemic yet its studio doesn’t want you to watch it at home post-pandemic. (If a movie needed $70 million extra dollars for special effects & reshoots, it did not exist in a finished state before.) The Snyder cut of Justice League is being reviewed … elsewhere! Sorry! I still want clickbait visits, just not enough to subscribe to HBOMax. I can’t even afford to review the official tie-in meal kit that sounds like an expensive prank. I have no journalistic integrity! For actual critical analysis, refer to my blogs on Superman & Lois, The Flash, & WandaVision. Here are SPOILERS for a movie I’ve yet to see, so all my spoilers could be wrong? This could be a fun comparison game for you to play at home. So you’re not already sick of this discourse, this blog’s for you!

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Check out the leaked pic of Stryfe from Deadpool 3!

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Black Lightning Remains Better Than Riverdale

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk on Barbara Minerva! Much like “Blue Monday,” her entrance theme inexplicably wound up on the cutting room floor. If WW84 was made as an excuse to increase the amount of Kristen Wiig merchandise, many licensees are not upholding their ends of the conspiracy. Keep a weather eye out for a companion piece on Doctor Domino.

Now we must venture back into SPOILER territory for the final season premiere of Black Lightning & a few episodes of Riverdale that would’ve been more momentous had the pandemic not shortened last season. As if that wasn’t enough, I have a tangible reason to hate Disney monopolization at the end.

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Why Does Wonder Woman’s Cheetah Never Prosper?

The more I think about Wonder Woman 1984, the madder I get about it. It’s got so much sloppy writing that could’ve been fixed with another draft. Then it peppers in some great stuff that prevents me from outright writing it off. One of those was the live action debut of Cheetah, but even that could’ve been executed better. (Screen Junkies stole my alternate title!) I really shouldn’t have been surprised that the movie stumbled with Barbara Minerva when it’s precedent set by the comics & cartoons. There will be multimedia SPOILERS below because now I’ve spent an inordinate amount of time contemplating Cheetah.

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That She-Hulk blog got me hooked on tinting photos green!

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Wonder Woman 1984: Cheetahs Never Prosper

This movie is Wonder Woman 84, meaning I skipped the intervening eighty-two sequels since the original. In a controversial move, WB finally opted to simultaneously release it to cinemas & HBO Max (at no additional charge, unlike Mulan on Disney+) on Christmas day. At least its release wasn’t as postponed as The New Mutants. I watched it a movie theater because I believe the safety precautions taken by the cinema & myself are sufficient to outweigh the risk. If you think otherwise, Gal Gadon’t go because you can watch it from the safety of your home. So is Wonder Woman 1984 doubleplusgood or thoughtcrime? The Lasso of Truth compels me to unspool its SPOILERS in this collaboreview with The Wages of Cinema, reunited for the first time since Plan 9 From Star Wars!

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