Ice! Mr. Freeze! Captain Cold! Killer Frost! Icicle! Ice Maiden! Blue Snowman! Minister Blizzard! Together they are The Just Ice League! And none of them appear in the Justice League movie!
I’m pleased to say that Justice League doesn’t suck! That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s spectacular. Do not go in expecting a Marvel Studios film. It’s a good movie but not a great movie. Much of what holds it back is having to clean up after Batman v. Superman: Dawn Of Justice. Fortunately the Justice League itself is a charismatic team instead of the maudlin worst case scenario we’d feared. The action is kinetic, the jokes are funny, & the story is coherent. So says The Wages of Cinema!
Fans of Eureka please send them feedback! Then read onward for THE SPOILERS OF JUSTICE! (They’re like the Hammers of Justice, except you can’t make bookshelves with ’em.)
A Wonder Woman, Squirrel Girl, & The Doctor team-up … is not something that is happening. Sorry! If I had my druthers, it would’ve happened already. Their joint powers & can-do attitudes would need to be pitted against a combined mega-obstacle just to be sporting! Okay, maybe that team-up would be too successful at solving all the multiverse’s problems for any successive fiction to matter. But now that Spider-Man: Homecoming is out of the way, we can finally resume talking about these lovely ladies!
This season of Gotham actually ended on a optimistic note? They made an exciting finale that didn’t rely upon toothlessly threatening to blow up the entire supporting cast? Many of its big threats were overshadowed by legitimutantly satisfying character developments? WHAT IS THIS DEVILTRY? I shall attempt to elucidate with SPOILERS.
It used to be a recurring joke that any comic book character would get a movie before Wonder Woman. At a 2013 NYCC afterparty hosted by The Mary Sue, one of the cocktail specials was called Wonder Woman Movie so guests could demand “Give me a Wonder Woman Movie!” This would’ve been effective more promptly if the bartenders were WB executives. (I slightly preferred the Strong Female Protagonist cocktail because it was green like She-Hulk.) A Wonder Woman movie has even been a recurring part of her comics mythos since the 1940’s, so it’s about time Hollywood caught up. Now it’s finally her turn! I was concerned by all the positive press the movie was receiving because I feared I’d be the lone weirdo that didn’t love it. Fortunately it lived up to the hype, even incorporating some of my ranty demands! That’ll teach Marvel Studios to cheap out on bribing me! I’m collaboreviewing Wonder Woman with The Wages of Cinema! (They’ve just done a podcast where they responded to my comments!) It’s a wonderful film!
Although she was still as wooden as the surrounding film, Gal Gadot was the best part of Batman v. Superman:
Yawn Dawn of Justice because she was a cedar in a forest of larches. Here Ms. Gadot shows she can actually act! Her expressive face conveys childlike wonder at the world outside of Themyscira. She’s a DC protagonist allowed to smile without being a baddie! She’s violent without being dour! They convey her strength through compassion perfectly!
Hereafter come the SPOILERS. If you’ve yet to purchase a ticket to see this film, please stop reading here & watch this Nerdist medley featuring Ciara “Hawkgirl” Renee!
This week, I was invited to two advance movie screenings. One starred Scarlet Witch, Shadow King, & Mantis. The other starred Scarlet Witch, Hawkeye, & Punisher. So I went to the first. Not only did I enjoy it very much, it’s tangentially in the nerdy wheelhouse. Unfortunately I’m not supposed to tell you about it because of a stupid NDA which prevents me from building advance buzz for the movie without being subject to legal action. Unless the point of that clause is reverse psychology. Even with the astronomical odds of the studio reading my blog, I’ll err on the side of paranoia & talk toys today.
The Bradford Exchange of Canada is producing a talking 12″ Justin Trudeau doll! Several articles are reporting that this is a bizarre product, seemingly oblivious to the fact that replicas of prominent political leaders are quite common in the high end 1/6 scale doll world. What’s actually bizarre is that the Bradford Exchange & its international affiliate websites refuse to sell this Prime Minister effigy outside of Canada!
Speaking of dreamy world leaders, here’s T’Challa!
Includes authentic Wakandan jungle diorama!
BREAK IT DOWN NOW!
Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi’s trailer isn’t being unveiled until Friday. It matters not, for Disney let slip the hounds of awesome with the trailer for Thor: Ragnarok! It looks Hela good! (Look forward to me recycling this pun for my review of the whole movie!) Wardrobe committed to Hela’s insane antlers! She had better be getting a Marvel Legends toy unlike most MCU villains! The fact that Loki’s got his horns back instantly makes this a superior film to The Dark World. And instead of focusing on a floating truck, this one’s stuffed to the gills with stuff that fans actually want to see in a Thor adaptation including Jack Kirby wall murals! My concern now is how they’re going to have enough time to introduce Hela, Valkyrie, Executioner, Grandmaster, & maybe Surtur (but no Enchantress or Balder) since Marvel Studios’ master plan didn’t have the foresight to set up any of them previously. I preemptively resent “Planet Hulk” being grafted onto Thor’s final solo movie when so much Asgardian mythos needs fleshing out, but Thor is just so adorable when he sees his friend from work! Please subvert the superheroes pointlessly battling each other trope! The colors are so pretty! The important thing is Taika Waititi’s movie looks like oodles of fun!
Pantone has declared “greenery” the color of 2017. That means this blog’s eye-bleedingly vivid hue is ahead of the curve!
Neither version of Spider-Man: Homecoming’s trailer wowed me. It somehow looks simultaneously too similar & too different from earlier Spider-Man films. As the Vulture, Michael Keaton threatens Spider-Man’s loved ones with all the disinterest he musters whilst disturbed in the middle of lunch by well-meaning Beetlejuice fans. How is the Vulture even a challenge to Spider-Man when he’s already pals with Iron Man? Marvel Studios will eventually do its take on Green Goblin, so why lessen his impact by starting off with bargain basement Green Goblin? I’d nitpick it more, but I will take the un-journalistic approach of saving it for my eventual review of the full movie.
The porn parody should be named Spider-Man: Home Cumming, right?
I vowed to start talking about books again as TV has run off on winter break like a lazy
cow herd coward. (Nickelodeon hasn’t even aired the final four episodes of TMNT’s fourth season! I can still mumble about how lackluster Gotham’s & Legends of Tomorrow‘s fall finales were if I really get desperate for semi-timely content.) So I guess that’s what I’m (barely) doing this week.