I went to Wakanda with The Wages of Cinema to visit Black Panther! My kitty’s mad I saw it without her. This I know from speaking the universal language of Espurranto. (I should start calling her Snuggletooth.) Let’s dive right off Warrior Falls into SPOILERS. If you’ve not seen it yet, skip even further down to the tilde for Toy Fair 2018 SPOILERS!
The Gifted’s first season wrapped up, so I belatedly powered my way through the last half of Inhumans. (Surely more readers are interested in how that ended now than ever before!) Now I can accurately contrast their conclusions in my follow up to the comparison of their premieres. If you don’t like reading words, you can scroll all the way down for a summary GIF. SPOILERS & legitimutantly bonkers fan theories away!
After much rumor & negotiation, Disney bought 21st Century Fox for the ludicrous amount of $52.4 billion. This means X-Men & Fantastic Four can join the MCU. The petty era of them being scrubbed off merchandise is over! They could star in cartoons & video games again! Hasbro could make a Marvel Legends movie Deadpool! Maybe this will motivate Marvel to stop marginalizing the merry mutants in comic books? Can Squirrel Girl, Scarlet Witch, & Quicksilver get retconned back into being muties? Since the MCU movies have been consistently better than Fox’s Marvel movies, this should make me happy. Why isn’t it?
Our long Inhumans nightmare is finally over (I still haven’t mustered the willpower to view its final four episodes.) because Agents of SHIELD is back! I’ve missed these spies! Thanks to Disney for mandating ABC renew it! The two-part season five premiere was so enjoyable that it opened with a Talking Heads music video! SPOILERS IN SPAAAACE!!!
Unlike the first season of Stranger Things, I was able to watch 2 Stranger 2 Things without the Interwuzzle spoiling everything for me! (I did so instead of catching up on Inhumans because I was the real monster all along!) So now I’ll spoil it for you! But odds are you also spent the weekend binging it. I guess this will still be around if you’d prefer to finish it & return, too.
Last installment I pioneered the art of cold takes! Continuing this trend, I’ll be talking about two Netflix shows you probably already saw. Then for the sake of novelty, I’ve got exclusive cat photos! There’s a bit about some X-Men media, too. This is why the week’s headline is gibberish!
Black Mirror is the catharsis of failure. After an abundance of fiction where the protagonists win just by being the protagonists, it’s strangely refreshing to watch a series with so many downer endings. It’s very honest about the likelihood of the average bloke enacting positive change, but it still believes those attempts are worth chronicling. Rather than being depressingly nihilistic, it generally avoids focusing on schadenfreude in favor of the perseverance against insurmountable odds. It’s the long-form version of Garfunkel & Oates’s “Such a Loser.” Instead of being science-shaming speculative fiction, it gives a head’s up to prepare for the future that is bad for you. (Or pro-tips for weakpoints in your plan to ruin society with innocent technological innovations.) It’s a very Humanist show.
I couldn’t afford to watch Star Trek Discovery. (I’ve never seen so many people eager to catch STD!) So against my better judgment, I watched both of the new TV series about Marvel Comics’ genetic superhumans, Inhumans & The Gifted. So strap in for an extra long spoilerific double review!
The best part of discount Thor featuring lunar muties was that my cat tried to ensnuggle me for 3/4 of it. Brought to you by the man who gifted the world with lumberjack Dexter & dragon-free Iron Fist, Inhumans shows glimpses of cool stuff only to yank them away. I may have some controversial views on the state of Lucasfilm, but I think we can all agree that Marvel Studios letting Scott Buck helm two series was a mistake. Did it lose a contractual bet with Sony or Fox to make Inhumans’ cinematic demotion as underwhelming as possible? It’s a pity this is set when when the Agents of SHIELD are indisposed because it could desperately use some charismatic protagonists (not to mention their writers). None of the visuals justified IMAX cameras. ABC can’t make this miniseries look as good as even one of The CW’s four DC series. It takes itself way too seriously without the necessary prerequisite of actuality being quality.